Need You Around
by reen212000
Summary: Rodney brings John to Earth to recover. Won't Jeannie be surprised! Just some self-indulgent h/c. Posted on LJ earlier.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: No particular spoilers, though it's sometime in Season 4.

Rodney McKay woke to the sound of the pilot's voice announcing they would be landing in twenty minutes. A patch of spiky hair tickled his chin, waking him further. John Sheppard had fallen asleep on Rodney's shoulder, swollen fingers tightly clinging to his shirt.

The trip hadn't been easy for John. The flight to Las Vegas had been a squealing hell; the last minute arrangements put them in coach. Every noise made the colonel jump. Once, he may have given the child behind them the evil eye; Rodney handled the complaint from the mother. There was no way to apologize for a cranky person with a cast on each arm. During the layover, Rodney paid top dollar to get first class on their long flight to Vancouver. Only a few airlines had first class these days, making Rodney consider buying his own plane. After all, he had a pilot.

Getting through the airport had been difficult, until a wandering porter named Ferris arrived with a wheelchair. John had latched onto the poor man, but Ferris didn't seem to mind. For the first time in weeks, John smiled, wincing when his bruised face moved. A great weight lifted from Rodney when the colonel finally spoke. "Ferris wheels," was all John said. Rodney was immensely pleased the cheerful Jamaican would be the one to push the recovering colonel through the busy airport.

It occurred to Rodney that at some point, people would probably stare at the poor guy in the wheelchair. He started to invent wild stories to explain the colonel's heavily bruised face and the gash over his eye. But he settled on the near-truth – Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was an Air Force pilot on medical leave. Simple, direct, not too many questions. People assumed he had been in the Middle East.

The privileges of being a first class passenger and being handicapped made Rodney smile. Not that he enjoyed lugging around an injured man and two duffle bags. But they got on the plane first, providing Rodney enough time to get John settled and prepared for flight. It was bad enough the pilot was uneasy when he wasn't flying the plane; now he was hurt and sleep-deprived. Not the best combination.

Gazing out of the window, Rodney mused that he didn't even mind sitting on the aisle. It was more important John was comfortable enough to sleep, than Rodney worrying about getting bumped by an attendant or a weaving passenger.

Blinking the sleepiness away, Rodney decided to wake John slowly. Squeezing the swollen fingers sticking out of the casts, he whispered the colonel's name. John's injuries made him weak and mostly exhausted; it was hard to rouse him once asleep.

Avoiding the injuries he could see, Rodney patted John's arm, saying his name a bit louder. Rodney hoped that the usual panic wouldn't occur; they were on a plane and a quiet one at that. This time, however, the colonel did wake gradually, blinking against the sunlight. It was early dawn when they left Colorado; now it closer to lunch time.

"You awake?"

"Mmm," John said, stretching cautiously. The casts on his arms had already caused some additional bruises. "Mostly."

Rodney had noticed the shorter the answer, the better in John's case. He tried to only ask succinct questions, ones that fit into Sheppard's five-words-or-less perimeters. The debriefing had been a nightmare once he was lucid again; everyone's questions coming too fast for him. Then Colonel Sheppard stopped communicating altogether, drifting away into a nearly catatonic state.

Jennifer Keller had suggested sending John to Earth to recover. Rodney agreed, particularly when he found out Sheppard was more or less hiding in Atlantis. Not that he was afraid of job security, but the colonel was delving into every system Rodney maintained. Sometimes, John would fix the problem before Rodney and his team could get to it.

All from his infirmary bed.

John's involvement in Atlantis operations had weakened him further, since the patient wouldn't rest. The City proved a bigger hindrance than his team, who – according to the medical staff – came by way too much. Even the colonel's stubbornness couldn't get him out of this one.

Sam Carter dialed SGC to find out if they could send Sheppard away for a few weeks. She even approved the patient going through on a gurney and not waiting for the Daedalus. General Landry thought it might be best for the return trip on the deep space ship.

A week later, the SGC had an urgent request for Rodney McKay. Sam came running to his quarters in the dead of night. The emergency was medical, and required McKay's presence at the SGC immediately. Rodney dressed quickly, packed quickly, and nearly ran through the gate.

Frowning at the memory, Rodney watched John look quietly out the plane window. "You're a troublemaker, you know that, right?"

John's exhausted eyes glittered with amusement. "Yes."

Rodney felt relief at the colonel's humor. Maybe this was a good idea after all. Now, he just had to get him through three more weeks.

The plane finally touched down; John had latched onto Rodney's arm until the craft came to a complete halt. A flight attendant escorted them through before the crowd became too much. If Rodney could tip her, he would give her an insane amount of money. Having John out of the plane and in a wheelchair quickly was all that mattered.

Flipping open his phone, he juggled the two duffle bags, pointing at the car rental counter. The porter, who was unfortunately not called Ferris, wheeled John in the same direction. Taking a deep breath, Rodney waited for his sister to answer her phone.

Jeannie was going to kill him.

oOoOoOoOo

Jeannie Miller sighed with relief as she closed Madison's door. She didn't think the five-year-old would go to sleep. School would be starting soon, and there was no end to Maddie's questions. Her backpack was packed and ready to go; the little girl was afraid something would be forgotten.

As Jeannie reached the last step, the phone rang.

"_Hey, Jeannie."_

"Mer? What are you – Are you, um, in town?" Before she could stop herself, Jeannie glanced at the ceiling.

"_Actually, I am,"_ he said quietly. _"Look, I need a favor."_

Jeannie frowned, looking around at the loads of laundry to be done and the breakfast dishes in the sink. Her to-do list was glaringly yellow on the refrigerator. "What is it?"

The hesitation on the other was uncharacteristic for her caustic brother. _"I – we – need a place to stay for a couple days. There's some convention in town, and I can't get a room. We –"_

"Who's with you? John?"

Another pause. Something was going on.

"_I – yes. It's a long story, and he needs to get settled in one place. Can we – Is it okay?"_

"Yes, definitely, Mer. Is everything all right?"

Rodney pulled a long breath and let it out in a huff. _"I'll explain when we get there. Is Maddie around?"_

"Yeah. She's taking a nap right now."

"_Good, good. We'll be there in about thirty minutes." _Another sigh. _"Thanks."_

Jeannie hung up, feeling apprehension settle on her shoulders. Something was wrong with John, and Mer sounded tired. Gathering the laundry, she walked to the guest room. As she made the bed, Jeannie remembered Kaleb's excitement over the downstairs guest suite. No snooping relatives upstairs, he had said. The room was on the small side, but cozy and warm, and no one complained in the past. It had a large window that faced east; Jeannie frowned at her withering flowers outside being assaulted by the change of weather.

By the time she finished folding the guest towels, there was a tentative knock at the door. Her heart leapt; it had been two months since she last heard from her brother. Jeannie dashed out of the room and around the couch to answer the door.

"Mer!" she said breathlessly.

Standing stiffly on the porch, Meredith gave a small, embarrassed smile. "Hey, Jeannie."

Over his shoulder, she saw spiky hair falling limply over a bandage. John clung to Rodney's arm, looking for all the world like he would fall without support. His pale, gaunt face was dotted with bruises, and both arms were encased in casts. John seemed focused on remaining upright, staring at the step in front of him.

"While Surrey is generally nice this time of year," Rodney began, "I'd rather not spend my vacation on the stoop."

Jeannie blinked her surprise, stepping aside. "Sorry!" Rodney winced at her volume; John startled and tightened his grip. "Sorry," she said softer. "Come inside."

Her brother marched forward, John Sheppard following closely behind. "Finally." Rodney turned to his charge, holding his shoulders. "John, I need to get the bags out of the car. Can you wait here with Jeannie?"

If John wasn't so dizzy, he'd roll his eyes. "I'm not a kid, Rodney." He swayed dangerously to the right; strong arms caught him. The colonel made a small, frustrated sound.

"Okay, I'm taking you to bed right now. Jeannie?"

She tore her gaze away from the injured man. "I'll get your bags, Mer." Walking down the driveway, Jeannie tried to compose herself. The John Sheppard she knew was always moving, energetic, and talkative. The man she saw was grey and shaking and broken, his eyes haunted. Jeannie snatched the duffles, and lugged them inside.

She entered the guest room, never thinking she would ever see her brother hug another person, let alone John. Quietly, Jeannie deposited the bags in the corner of the room. "Um, hey," she whispered, not sure what was going on. Based on John's last reaction to loud noise, she moved slowly showing both hands. "Do you need any help? Sorry you gotta share."

Rodney smiled briefly, John's head on his shoulder with eyes closed. "No, this'll be fine." He squeezed John's fingers; the colonel blinked blearily at Jeannie. "It's past time for his meds, and he really needs to sleep."

"Okay. I was about to make a sandwich. Are you guys hungry?" She watched her brother arrange John on the bed, pulling off shoes.

"Starving." Rodney placed a duffle bag on each side of the colonel's narrow body, propping his arms up. "I'll be right back."

John frowned, then closed his eyes. "I'm fine."

He watched Rodney leave the room, observing how tired he looked. _This is my fault. Again._ John made a silent promise to his friend's retreating back that he would stay calm, take all his meds, get rest, and even eat. Rodney wouldn't regret this trip. Snuggling against the cool pillows, John found himself drifting off.

Everything would be fine.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney ticked off a list of items he needed to do today. "He needs to eat something with those pills. Maybe toast. Ooh, apple juice. He likes that. Maybe –"

"You are aware you're talking out loud, right?"

"Mmm," he said closing the fridge. Rodney continued mumbling to himself as he made toast.

Jeannie leaned against the counter, making herself an obstacle. "All right. Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

Her brother sighed, leaning heavily against the counter. "I will. Just... Let me do this first," he said quietly, suddenly looking as tired as his injured friend.

Jeannie threw her arms around him, giving Rodney the tightest hug she could muster. "Oh, Mer. It's okay. I'll try to be patient." Stepping back, she searched his face. "I'm just worried about both of you."

The sadness in his eyes warred with relief. "I know, I know. Me too."

She gave him another squeeze. "You've lost weight."

Rodney chuckled into his sister's hair. "It's amazing what two solid months of running for your life will do for you." Moving away from her, he collected toast and juice, and shuffled towards the guest room.

oOoOoOoOo

John woke with a start. Rodney returned, bearing food and drink. The colonel eyed the toast dubiously; he wasn't quite ready for anything resembling food. _The juice looks promising, though._ Glancing up, John assessed his friend. Rodney looked so worried; he always gave away everything with his eyes.

John cleared his throat. "Hey. Toast."

"Yep. Ready for your happy pills?"

"I guess," John said, shifting stiffly into a sitting position.

Rodney placed the small plate within reach of clumsy fingers. "Eat what you can; those pills on an empty stomach aren't good. Brought you some apple juice, too, though you may have to fight Madison for it later."

"Thanks, Rodney," John said quietly. He swallowed the four pills with a gulp of juice. Munching on a piece of toast, he watched his friend shuffle around the room unpacking clothes. Rodney placed a small, padded pack on the night stand. John had dubbed it his diaper bag, since it held everything that could keep him in a pain-free haze and temporarily calm.

Halfway through the second piece of toast, John dropped the remains on the plate. His eyes kept drooping; there was no way he could help Rodney with the unpacking now. When the scientist let out a stifled yawn, John had an idea. "Take a nap?"

"Sure, if you want to. It's not like we've got a pressing engagement." He checked his watch. "I'm gonna talk to Jeannie for a bit so you can stretch out."

Immediately, John shook his head. "No. You..."

Rodney stopped folding. "Me what?" He started opening drawers again. "You know, we should just buy you all new clothes. There's no way you're going to fit into anything anytime soon –"

"Sleep. You..." John closed his eyes against the sudden barrage of unbidden images and words. He tapped his leg with a casted arm, fingers barely forming a fist.

"Hey, hey. It's okay," Rodney soothed as he sat down next to John. He stilled the wavering arms, looking directly into John's eyes. The doctors thought the colonel would have brain damage due to the blow he received. So far, the only thing Rodney had seen was a bad headache, and the inability to concentrate when he was upset or tired. "Not to sound too much like your mother, Colonel, but take a deep breath and take your time."

John swallowed closing his eyes, focusing on the warm hands resting on his own. He felt a little smile curve his lips. _I'm too tired for this._ Following Mother McKay's advice, John took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "You should sleep."

Nodding slowly, Rodney stood, covering another yawn. He placed the shirt he held into a drawer. "Fine. But you know I'm not into cuddling. Lie down and go to sleep."

Waiting for Rodney to settle next to him, John felt suddenly like he had accomplished something. Not that Rodney ever did anything he suggested, but it did make John feel better. Now, if he could only stop clinging to his best friend's sleeve like a security blanket. Rodney wasn't even there, for God's sake!

Rodney lay on his back, fingers linked across his chest. Within a minute, John could hear him snoring lightly. Turning on his side, he watched him sleep. The colonel twisted his fingers in the sheet instead of Rodney's shirt.

Everything would be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeannie wrapped a sandwich for her brother and his friend, setting it on the night stand. After a moment, she decided on finding a light blanket. Knowing Mer, he would complain about the air conditioning when he woke. Sure, he started off as a furnace, but then he would cool. Jeannie threw the blanket over both of them; John's bruised eyes opened slightly then drifted close again.

Closing the door behind her, Jeannie checked the clock. It was nearly two, which meant she had at least twenty minutes to complete the laundry, make a snack for Maddie, and sweep the back porch. She promptly decided to sit on the couch and flip channels until her daughter woke.

Thirty minutes later, Maddie pounded down the stairs. "Mommy! Mommy! I had a dream that Uncle Mer was here!"

Jeannie put a finger to her lips. "Shh. It wasn't a dream. He's here, but he's taking a nap, okay?"

Madison thought that was silly. "Big people don't need naps, Mommy."

Offering her hand, Jeannie led her daughter to the kitchen. "Kid, when you grow up, you'll regret missing any naps." With a squeeze, she released her hand. "Go play outside. We're gonna have a snack on the patio."

"Mmkay. When's Uncle Mer gonna wake up?"

"When he's good and ready. And," Jeannie took a deep breath. How to explain... "Uncle John's here too."

"Uncle John! Uncle John! Un–" Madison's hand flew up to cover her mouth. "Sorry, Mommy."

Jeannie smiled, grabbing a plate. Quickly, she made one and a half peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "Come on. Outside. You can scream all you want out there." Once seated, she decided to tell her daughter about her favorite uncles.

Madison's eyes rounded. "Uncle John gots hurts? Did he fall off his skateboard? Uncle Mer says those are dangerous."

"Yes, they are. But no, sweetie, he didn't fall. Some very bad people hit him." And hit him. And hit him. Jeannie could only assume that's what happened. The Pegasus Galaxy was not for wussies. "Uncle John has a head owie."

"Head owie? Is it still there?"

_The owie or the head?_ "Uh, well, he has a bad headache, so he might not be able to play with you for a while." Now, the other part. "Remember when you fell out of Grammy's tree?"

Maddie nodded vigorously, holding out her arm. "Got broke."

"Right. Well, Uncle John broke both."

The little girl thought seriously. "Did he get a pink cast too?" she asked, feet swinging above the ground.

"No, I don't think so. Anyway, he's not feeling good right now. So we have to be quiet for him when he's asleep, okay?"

"'Kay. But I can be loud outside."

Jeannie smiled, not sure of the monster she was possibly creating. "Definitely. And no running the house."

"You always say that," Maddie commented.

Her mother frowned. "Yeah, well this time, I'd like you to listen, smart aleck." Jeannie leaned back, munching on her half of pb&j. She tried to imagine what kind of trouble the colonel had gotten into, and who could possibly want to hurt someone that badly. Of course, she knew about torture, just never saw it up close and personal.

"Mommy? What about Uncle Mer? Is he sick too?"

"No... No, I don't think so." Jeannie didn't want to think about what her brother meant by running for his life for two months.

"I think we should take Uncle John and Uncle Mer to the park." Madison suggested. "Can I pick strawberries?"

"Absolutely." Jeannie couldn't help smiling at her daughter's solution. Going to the park cured everything.

oOoOoOoOo

"_Activate the chair!" The soldier yelled over and over._

_Sheppard wondered how he got here. His head was spinning, and the weapons chair was eager to comply. It took all his concentration to keep the whole place from lighting up like a Christmas tree. It was a newer station, and had enough power, denoting a charged ZPM. _

_A ZPM more charged than any they had found in the four years of being in the Pegasus Galaxy._

_Rodney's gonna flip! John thought._

"_You! Pay attention to the commander!"_

"_I knew there was something I shoulda been doing. What did you say?"_

_The soldier took a step forward, and cuffed Sheppard across an already aching jaw. "Activate the chair!"_

"_Would you cut that out? I told you there's no power!" Offofffoff!_

_The commander stepped into the light, looking like the average villain. "My scientist assured me this is a functional station. I'm sure he's not mistaken." His dark eyes picked out someone in the darkness surrounding the chair._

"_Yes, Commander Lonen! The readings state –"_

"_Enough!" Lonen turned his dark gaze on the colonel. "Now, Colonel Sheppard, I would appreciate it if you no longer wasted my time!"_

_Leaning back in the cold chair, John shook his head. "I'm tellin' you –"_

_Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the flash of a shiny black club. It swung down, hard and fierce, connecting with his right arm._

_Oh crap._

John woke with a start. Again. _This is getting old!_ he thought, shifting his stiff, sweaty body under the blanket. Blinking at the ceiling, John listened for any outside noises. Glancing at the clock, John decided an hour nap was long enough. Trying not to wake Rodney, he moved slowly to the edge of the bed. The sleeping man reached for him anyway, fumbling hand patting the pillow.

"You 'kay?" he mumbled, but never fully awake. Rodney had showered at some point, and there was evidence of a sandwich eaten.

John limped toward the chest of drawers; he smiled at Rodney's awkward thoughtfulness at placing John's items in the uppermost drawers. Bending over was not in the injured man's best interest. Grabbing a t-shirt and boxers, John took several breaths before entering the bathroom.

Frowning at his casted arms, John turned the faucet, filling the bath. A shower would be better, but a bath would be more relaxing, soothing his many aches and pains. By the time the bath filled, John was tired, but happy to be mobile. Easing his bruised body into the water, John let the warmth seep into his very bones.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney snuggled deeper under the blanket, blindly reaching out for his friend. Panic washed over him feeling the cool sheets beside him. "John?"

Yanking back the blanket, Rodney was fully alert, listening for any sign of the colonel. Entering the bathroom, he found John slumped forward on the toilet, in nothing but boxers. His wet hair sent rivulets of water down his back and over his shoulders, defeating the purpose of dry clothes.

Rodney knelt in front of the shivering man, trying to see the man's face.

Opening his eyes, John focused on Rodney, willing the two images to reconcile. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself. Need some help?"

_No! I don't need help! I'm fine!_ John winced at the volume of his inner voice. The Colonel strikes again. "Okay."

Rodney carefully dried John's hair, avoiding the purple bruise that crept into his hairline. "You need a haircut." The scientist never thought he'd ever see the elfin tips of the colonel's ears covered, but the unruly hair was now long enough to hide them.

"Yeah, I guess," John said around a yawn. "I hate this."

Standing, Rodney shook out the t-shirt, placing it gently over John's head. "Well, you're the one who decided not to sleep for a week."

"Wasn't a week. Didn't mean it."

Rodney pulled the not-so-swollen fingers through the armholes of the shirt. "I know. You could've slept the day I came to see you."

"Couldn't see you. You're okay now."

Frowning at the cryptic statement, Rodney wondered about his friend and his random sentences. Eventually, he would understand as he put them together. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I mean… Dreams," John said, worrying his bottom lip.

Understanding dawned as Rodney folded the towel over the bar. "You were dreaming I wasn't okay? That's why you couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah," the colonel said, breathing heavily. "They told me they had you."

Wow, that actually made sense. "Who had me? The Wraith?" It seemed logical, since most of John's nightmares stemmed from dealings with the creatures. "What did they – What happened?"

Shaking his head, John struggled to stand, his heart racing. He closed his eyes against the bright light, and from far away, he could hear Rodney calling his name. Grabbing hold of Rodney's shirt, John finally steadied himself, only breathing. "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this!" he said to Rodney's shoulder.

"I know. Come on. You're going back to bed," Rodney said quietly. "I know you don't want to, but if you don't sleep, you can't go back."

Nodding his head once, John knew the consequences. And when he felt rested enough, they would send him to the nearest shrink to talk about his capture. "I'll try." He stood away from his sturdy companion, walking to his side of the bed. As he sat down, John caught Rodney staring at the bruises on his legs.

"You really are a walking bruise, you know." Reaching down, Rodney pulled the bedcovers over the shivering man. "I'll wake you for dinner."

John looked intently at his hovering friend. "Give me a few days. I need to –"

"I know you'll tell me everything at some point. But, seriously, you need to get your bearings first."

Curling on his right side, the colonel immediately regretted it. "Ouch!"

"Serves you right. You know you're not supposed to lie on that side," Rodney quipped. "Now lie on your back like a good little colonel and go to sleep."

"I like that side."

"Of course you do. Stop being ridiculous." Walking around the bed, Rodney pointed to the empty duffle bags. "Do you need elevation?"

John opened his eyes groggily. "'m fine."

Scooping up his laptop, Rodney checked the room again. "All right. Call if you need –" A radio chirped in his hand. Placing it in his ear, Rodney awkwardly closed the door behind him before answering. "This is McKay."

"_Doctor McKay this is Colonel Caldwell. Hermoid requires your services on the Daedalus."_

Booting up his laptop, Rodney scowled at the ceiling. "I can't. Send the problem to my computer; I can probably solve it from here."

"_I'll see what I can do. Caldwell out."_

"Hi," a voice whispered from behind, nearly sending Rodney through the roof.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry," Jeannie said. "There's another sandwich in the fridge if you want it."

Rodney sniffed the air. "Coffee?"

His sister smiled fondly. "Yes, Mer. There's a fresh pot just for you."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I love you." Rodney quickly poured a cup, adding three sugars. Halfway through his coffee, he found his sister staring expectantly. Topping off the dark liquid, he moved to the table, trying to ignore his computer. "I don't know what happened. Yet."

"What do you mean, yet? Aren't there briefings or something?"

Rodney smiled sadly. "They tried to ask him questions, but he wasn't talking." Sighing in resignation, he turned to face Jeannie. "Three weeks ago, the 'gate dialed. Sheppard had been missing for a week and a half, so we hoped it was one of our sources with information. It ended up being a sergeant from the Alpha site; Sheppard had wandered through the 'gate on his own. They took care of his superficial wounds, splinted his arms, et cetera."

"You mean he just dialed an address? What if he got it wrong? Aren't there space 'gates? Couldn't –"

"Yes! I know! He could have, but surprisingly he didn't. With two broken arms and a grade 3 concussion, John had to dial at least two gates to get to the Alpha site."

Jeannie glanced back at the closed guest room door. "How did he – I've seen people push those buttons, or whatever they are. It's not easy."

Rodney leaned back, trying to imagine doing anything with one broken arm, much less two. "He had some kind of drug in his system. We think that's how he was able to function. By the time we got to him, it had already metabolized. Jennifer had no idea what they gave him, so he went into some sort of withdrawal. The more questions they asked, the more he drifted away. He went from delirious to nearly catatonic in a matter of days."

"The more he drifted away, the more everyone thought he should get away from Atlantis," Jeannie surmised.

"Yeah." Rodney decided to forego telling her all the other things, like communing with a city mainframe. His radio chirped plaintively. "McKay."

"_Doctor McKay. This is Hermoid. I require your assistance for approximately forty-five minutes to complete this repair."_

Rodney frowned as he scanned the problem. "There's no way for you to fix this without me?"

The Asgard gave an irritated huff. _"It would be more expedient if you were present."_

Glancing from Jeannie to the guest room over her shoulder, Rodney closed his eyes. The alien had less patience for incompetent people than McKay himself. "Yes, all right. Give me ten minutes." He rose from the table, smiling apologetically to his sister. "John should sleep for a while; I told him I'd wake him for dinner. What _is_ for dinner anyway?"

"We're grilling veggies tonight. If you're good, I'll let you have a veggie burger."

"I can't wait." He quietly entered the room to change. John slept fitfully, but didn't wake as Rodney changed. At the last second, he wrote a note for John in case he woke. "All right, Hermoid. I'm ready for transport."

In a flash of light, he was gone.

oOoOoOoOo

John woke, this time not quite in a panic. The room was darker, but he could still see the sky through the sheer curtains. Outside, he could hear voices. Thankfully, they didn't sound like his captors; Madison's laughter rang loud and clear from somewhere in the house. Rising stiffly, John decided to join them. Spotting the note and radio on Rodney's pillow, he frowned.

_On the Daedalus. Back in an hour. Radio if you need me. R._

John snatched up the comm device and put it in his pocket. Placing his hand on the knob, John braced himself for the outside world, a world with a temporarily missing Rodney. He walked out of the room, two fingers touching the radio in his pocket.

Jeannie looked up from slicing zucchini. A spectre had appeared from the corner of her eye, causing her breathing to stutter. "John! You're awake!" She walked around the kitchen island, wiping her hands on a towel. "How do you feel?"

Instinctively, John tried to cross his arms; he sat down at the table instead. "I'm good. Little groggy."

Nodding and smiling, Jeannie hoped she didn't look too concerned. "Hey, you want some juice? Or water?"

"I'll take juice." John glanced around the house, searching for the source of laughter he heard earlier. "Maddie?"

The little girl in question came running into the house with a small basket of strawberries. "Hi, Uncle John! She set the basket near the sink, and skipped over to the colonel. Looking at him carefully, Madison scrunched up her face. "Your owie still hurt?"

John's left brow raised. "I'm okay right now." He took a sip of juice, grimacing at the coldness, watching the little girl examine his owies.

"You got black ones. I had a pink one," she said, patting his casts. "Did you get the bad guys?"

"Hey, Maddie," Jeannie stepped in before the colonel had to answer. "Can you tell daddy to start the grill?"

"Umm, okay." Maddie gave him the patented McKay crooked frown. "Are you staying for dinner, Uncle John?"

John smiled, wincing at his sore face. "Yes."

Satisfied, Madison skipped to the sliding door. She ran up to her father, who was watering the shrubs.

"Sorry about that. I told her you didn't feel well because," Jeannie gestured to her own head. "Should you be up and around?"

"I'm fine." Hoping his expression was neutral, John studied his glass. He took comfort in the concealed comm in his pocket.

Looking unconvinced, she immediately turned to rifle through drawers. Returning to his side, Jeannie held out a damp dish towel. "For your eye. Drink your juice; I'm gonna finish prepping dinner."

John gratefully took the cloth, reveling in the cool dampness over his eye. "Thanks." He may have dozed off; the sound of the sliding door opening startled him. For a moment, John forgot where he was, reaching out to his left for someone who wasn't there. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"Hey there, Colonel Sheppard," Kaleb Miller moved slowly into the kitchen; he knew sudden movements weren't the best thing for a person with PTSD. "The chairs on the patio are pretty comfortable. In case you want some fresh air."

Tilting his head to ease the pressure, John glanced outside. "Thanks. I think I will." As he shuffled out to the patio, John wondered how long Rodney would be away.

oOoOoOoOo

"All right, try it now," Rodney said, muffled by a console. When the drive started on the third try, he stood rubbing his hands together. "Okay, that should do it. Run a diagnostic; should work out the irregularities."

"I'm sure it will, Doctor McKay," Hermoid said irritably. "If you are finished, I will transport you back to your sibling's home."

Rodney rubbed his tired eyes. What he really wanted was a nap, maybe a cup of coffee, then – _Dammit!_ "What time is it?" _If John wakes up before I get home..._

"You have been here for approximately one hour, twenty-three minutes, Doctor McKay."

Grabbing his laptop, Rodney rushed to the transport area. "Don't call me for two weeks!" he shouted over his shoulder.

In a flash of light, Rodney returned to the guest bedroom. Blinking his eyes against the sudden darkness, he stumbled to the bed searching for a warm body. The bed was empty; John wasn't where he was supposed to be.

Rodney set his computer on the bed, immediately leaving the room in search of his injured friend.

The smell of grilled vegetables permeated the house. Rodney wandered out onto the porch, listening for any signs of distress.

"Hi, Uncle Mer!" Madison barreled down the slide, and hit the ground running. "Uncle John is kinda sleepy."

"Hello, Madison. I'm going to talk to John for a minute." He ruffled the little girl's hair as she skipped back to her play area.

"He's okay, Mer. But I think he might be cold." Jeannie held out the blanket from their room.

"How long has he been up?"

"He's been up for an hour," John said quietly, opening his eyes.

"Sorry," the siblings said at once.

Rodney gathered the blanket around John's shoulders. "You want to eat here?"

John frowned. "Okay." He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to eat, but he remembered his promise. This was Rodney's downtime too.

"Ya know, I should've brought your favorite blanket." Rodney turned to his sister. "Did you know the colonel has a blankie?"

Jeannie's eyes rounded. "He does not!"

"He does too! It's a really nice one. A gift from a very nice old woman. We saved their village."

A derisive snort came from the blanket. "Not a blankie."

Kaleb set a large platter in the middle of the table. "Who's hungry?"

oOoOoOoOo

Dinner was more or less quiet as Rodney watched John very closely. Each tiny bite of food, each sip of juice that he took. John seemed partial to the eggplant, which pleased Maddie greatly.

"I know this isn't the steak I promised you," Rodney said, a rueful smile curving his lips.

"Daddy makes the best eggplant," Madison supplied.

"It's good," John smiled at the little girl. He was losing the battle with his eyelids once again.

Rodney got the hint, handing John the glass of juice. "Why don't you finish that off, and I'll help you get ready for bed. And," he raised a hand to stop the sleepy protest. "I know you're not a kid."

Keeping his smile, John took the glass in both hands, drinking the rest of the juice. He set the glass down with a thump and stood, fingers instantly finding Rodney's arm. They slowly walked back to the bedroom, John quickly losing his balance.

"John? You feel a little warm." Entering the room, Rodney guided his friend to the bed. "It's time for your nighttime pills, and I need to take your temperature."

"'kay." John reached into his pocket, fishing out the radio. "Have fun?"

"Which part? Yelling at the morons who botched another repair job, or dealing with the condescending tone of a naked alien?"

"Point," John said, sitting heavily on the bed. He watched Rodney read directions on pill bottles, even though he had done this before.

Doling out two pills, he gave John water, placing the thermometer gently in his ear. "Well, you're definitely staying in bed tomorrow. You've got a temp of 38.3, and if it gets worse, just about everyone will kill me."

With a lopsided grin, John closed his eyes, imagining Sam Carter and Carolyn Lam yelling at Rodney.

"No more smirking. Go to sleep." Rodney covered the colonel to the waist, and turned off the light.

oOoOoOoOo

"_The chair, Colonel Sheppard. Activate it, and your friends will go free." Commander Lonen sounded very reasonable. "If you do not, I will kill them."_

"_There's no p'wer. Can't feel it." John was pretty sure his slurred words made sense._

_Lonen's cold dark eyes regarded the colonel. "Bring Doctor McKay. I shall start with him."_

"_No!" John's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. The quick movement jarred his broken arm causing his concentration to falter. The chair lit up for a second; John quickly asked it to shut down and stay down._

"_Why do you insist on lying to me?" Lonen gestured for the medic with all the needles. "Another dose. He will learn his lesson."_

"_Sir, it might be best if you let him rest –"_

_It earned the medic a backhanded slap from the commander. "This is your fault, Sheppard. You've put your friends in jeopardy. I need to show you what you've done to your friends."_

_John struggled against his bonds; the broken bones rubbed painfully together. Fire burned through his veins after the distinct pinprick. Rodney stood before him, helpless against his captors._

"_What are you doing, John? You just have to activate the chair, and we can go home." Rodney held out his tied hands. "Just do it, or we're dead!"_

"_No, no, no! You're not here!"_

"John! Wake up!"

Somewhere, a familiar voice called to him. One Rodney pleaded with him to wake, while another Rodney told him to activate the chair.

This was his fault. Everyone would die because of him. But then it would fall into the hands of the Genii. But then people would die. But...

Vicious circle.

John shook off the hands that held him down, and stood shakily. He had to leave. No one would be safe if he stayed here.

The door opened on the second try; his swollen fingers were less cooperative. Stumbling through the chair room, John stepped over obstacles blocking his path. Vines had overgrown the entrance, snagging his aching arms. The night air bit at his damp clothes as he wandered down the path to the nearby stargate. Keeping his eyes forward, John ignored the encroaching dizziness. He had to get away. He needed back up.

Rocks cut into his bare feet as he unsteadily walked down the sidewalk. If he got back to the SGC, John would explain the situation. He had activated a chair, but he couldn't give it to the Genii.

"_John! Stop!" _Dead Rodney was following him, calling out to him. This was wrong. Blinking at a light hovering above, John's vision swam and re-stablized.

A street lamp. This was Earth.

Halting mid-step, John placed his hand on the street light to steady himself. He closed his eyes against the spinning stars.

"John!" Catching up finally, Rodney's breath stuttered with relief. "What the hell... Are you all right?"

The colonel's face was white and tight with pain. "Safer." He pushed away from the pole, staggering to the curb.

"Safer? What does that mean?" Rodney reached out, grabbing a fistful of John's shirt. "Answer me!"

John stopped, looking dazedly around. "Rodney?" His eyes suddenly rolled to the back of his head and his knees buckled.

Gathering him into his arms, Rodney lowered the colonel to the ground. "John! Come on, come on! Wake up! I can't carry you back!" In the darkness, he saw a tall man running his way.

"Rodney?" Kaleb knelt by his side. "Should I call an ambulance?"

"No, not yet. Help me get him inside."

Kaleb took John's long legs, frowning. "He's really light."

Everything in the scientist's brain screamed, _Duh! Injured man!_ Rodney only grunted in agreement. Thinking of John as heavy almost made him laugh out loud. Every year, it seems something happens, and every year, Sheppard is lighter.

They managed to get back to the house with only a few nosey neighbors peeking out there front windows. Can you get kicked out of a neighborhood? Rodney mused as they arranged John on the bed. Grabbing whatever he could, he elevated John's arms; the colonel's fingers looked like long sausage links.

Someone had handed Rodney a thermometer, which he immediately placed in John's ear. When it beeped, he read the digital numbers in Celsius. There wasn't any change in temperature.

Rodney closed his eyes, letting out the breath he had been holding. Upon opening them, he found his sister and the English major staring apprehensively. "He's okay for now, I think," Rodney said, hoping he sounded convincing.

Jeannie tossed a damp cloth into her brother's hands. "Why did he leave?"

"I... I don't know," Rodney said, shifting away from the bed. "The only thing he said was, 'Safer.' I don't know what he meant by it, but I have an idea." He smoothed the cloth over John's exposed skin, cleaning the dirt from his bare feet.

Turning into the cool cloth, John's eyes fluttered open, then widened in panic. Jerking away from Rodney's touch, he squirmed on the bed.

"John. You're safe. Remember? We're at Jeannie's."

The confused man glanced around the room. Not Genii, not strangers. Jeannie and Kaleb. And Rodney. But not... "Maddie? Awake?"

Kaleb shook his head. "Thankfully, she takes after the McKay side of the family."

Taking several shaky breaths, John closed his eyes. "Sorry."

"It's okay, John. You just rest," Jeannie said. "Night, you guys. We'll lock the deadbolt."

Hearing the door close, John opened his eyes. "Deadbolt?" When Rodney looked away, John grabbed his wrist. "What happened?"

Rodney stood, walking over to the chest of drawers. He returned with a fresh shirt. "Well, you decided to reenact your escape."

A shiver raced through John's body. "My feet are cold."

"That'll teach you to wander the neighborhood without shoes." He pulled John upright. "Let's change your shirt. You, by the way, are not under any circumstances to leave this room tomorrow."

John's answer was muffled by the shirt over his head. By the time he lay back, he was on the brink of sleep. "That isn't going to be easy, Rodney."

"It never is with you."


	3. Chapter 3

Rodney woke to quiet voices and the mumble of a television. Opening his eyes, he discovered the TV was on in their room and the voices were from somewhere outside. Rolling over, he saw John deeply asleep, head half under the blankets. Tentatively, Rodney felt John's forehead. He knew it was futile; the sleeping man was wrapped warmly in blankets. There seemed to be no change; he decided to check officially later. Now, Rodney definitely knew John was sleeping – there was no flinch, not even a sharp intake of breath.

Turning his attention to the TV, Rodney wondered when it had come on. He had hoped John would wake him if he couldn't sleep, but the television seemed to work just as well. Rodney tried to determine the time by the program, but was at a loss. Checking his watch gave him the answer; Rodney suddenly realized that maybe he should take off his watch.

They had three weeks. While John got better, Rodney hoped to spend some time doing nothing. Staring at the ceiling, he planned his next few days. Today, he would try the bookstore. Maybe in a few days, John would be well enough to venture outside. Rodney put clothing on the list; John needed something other than the loose items he brought.

Rising, he went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. By the time he exited, Rodney found John staring out the window, waving.

"It looks nice out there," Rodney said conversationally. He came to stand just behind John's shoulder, ready to catch his friend if the need arose. "If you want –"

"No," John interrupted. He turned away from the window to face his friend. "I'm gonna stay in bed for now. Maybe tomorrow." Shuffling towards the bathroom, John quietly closed the door.

_Great. Now he's depressed. Or maybe he's really just tired. Please. Like he would ever admit to needing to stay in bed. That should mean something, right?_

Rodney's internal monologue continued until John walked unsteadily out of the bathroom. Watching him cross the room, Rodney could see John still favored his right side; the doctors had said he would for at least another week. Apparently, whomever had taken him only had the colonel's right side to play with. Broken wrist, arm, ribs, and the right side of his head. Jennifer had said the blow to the head came first, then perhaps the drugs. Rodney suddenly started thinking of bound variables, and that John could actually be part of a lambda abstraction. He could actually see the parentheses around the colonel's head.

"Stop thinking so hard," John said, amusement playing on his pale features. The big purple bruise only emphasized his hazel-green eyes.

"I can't help it. Hungry?"

John took that as a good sign, hoping Rodney was worrying over something other than an injured pilot. This was Rodney's vacation too, and John wanted his friend to relax. He glanced in Rodney's direction, and found the man staring at him intensely. "No. What?"

The intensity dimmed; Rodney's shoulders slumped defeat. Waving a dismissive hand, he reached for a pen and paper. "I'm going to the book store. Need anything?"

Sticking his feet under the covers, John thought about the question. Reading gave him a headache these days, but that would soon pass. He hoped. "Comics. The dark ones?"

Rodney shook his head in dismay. "Of course. Why do I even bother to ask? Graphic novels and a golf magazine or two, I'm guessing."

"Yup," John replied as he maneuvered on the bed to get comfortable, wincing at a twinge from his right arm.

Huffing, Rodney extracted four pill bottles. It was that time again, and he knew John would give him trouble. When he turned, he saw John with a glass already in hand. "Well, here. Take these so I can leave already." Rodney dropped the pills into John's lap. He watched his friend pick up each pill with slightly swollen fingers. "Lemme take your temp again, so I can have accurate records."

John froze mid-swallow. Records?

"Oh don't look at me like that. I promised that short evil doctor I would keep notes of pill dispensary, and anything else I thought needed notation."

As Rodney searched for the thermometer, the bedroom door opened. Madison entered, very carefully wielding a tray with a small bowl of something steaming, and two slices of toast.

"Good morning, Uncle John!"

"Hi, Maddie. Whatcha got?"

Beaming for all she was worth, Maddie walked slowly to John's side of the bed. "It's daddy's Extra Special Porridge. He makes it when I gets sick."

Glancing down at the steaming bowl, John seemed caught between a grimace and a grin. It didn't quite remind him of the sludge he was given while captured; the bowl had a distinct maple smell. A grin finally won out, as John took the tray. "This looks good. Thanks, Maddie."

She nodded once, and skipped away, waving at her uncle Mer on her way out. Jeannie appeared at the threshold, narrowly avoiding her daughter. "Hi, guys," she said, pointing to the bowl. "I see you got the Extra Special stuff. Maddie went through a Goldilocks phase for a while, so everything had to be called porridge."

Rodney peered at the contents of the bowl. "Oatmeal and maple syrup?" He gently touched John's shoulder to let him know there would be more touching. The colonel tipped his head so that Rodney could take his temperature. After the beep, Rodney frowned, but immediately wiped it away. "Well, I guess we'll see if the porridge does the trick."

Jeannie stepped fully into the room. "I've seen it work miracles," she smiled. "Okay, so what's on the agenda for today?"

"Bookstore? And maybe a Zellers, or something." Grabbing a pair of socks, Rodney sat at the foot of the bed to put on his shoes. He glanced back at John, who slowly ate the oatmeal, spoon awkwardly held in his left hand. "Do you like it?" Rodney asked, realizing he had been staring.

"Sweet," John said, cheeks pink with either fever or embarrassment, or both.

Rodney snorted. "Of course you'd like it, with your sweet tooth." Turning to his sister, he rubbed his hands together. "Ready?"

"Yup. Lemme get my purse." She jerked her thumb towards over her shoulder. "Kaleb will be here, working upstairs. So if you need anything, yell."

John nodded slowly; he was grateful Rodney would get some time with Jeannie. "Have fun."

Kaleb walked them outside, and strapped Maddie into her seat. He bent to kiss his wife, ignoring the sound of protest from Rodney. "Hey," he said, snapping his fingers. "Anything I should know about John?"

Frowning, Rodney actually thought about his question. "Just listen for him. He tends to have really bad dreams, so stay on his left. Oh, and duck."

Looking puzzled, Kaleb closed the driver's side door. "I'll keep that in mind," he replied, waving absently to Maddie in back.

Biting his lower lip, Rodney knew he shouldn't worry._ Yeah, right. Well, English major, good luck! Then what? John hits the guy, and feels all guilty, then we're back to square one. _"We could do this later. Maybe, I don't know, in a week or so?"

Jeannie gave a sympathetic smile. "You need a short break, Mer. We'll keep it to an hour, okay?"

Shifting in his seat, Rodney sat back and turned to stare out the window. "Fine. An hour."

"Don't worry Uncle Mer," Maddie offered. "I know where everything is. We won't get lost."

Rodney glanced at his smirking sister. "Maybe you can give your Uncle John pointers."

oOoOoOoOo

Shuffling around the mainstream bookstore, Rodney found himself in the graphic novel section. This wasn't the brightly colored, benign artwork from his youth. He wondered why Sheppard liked them so much. Flipping through the new releases, Rodney snorted at the exaggerated women, and the gratuitous violence. "No wonder he likes these."

Grabbing several from the racks, Rodney headed to more familiar territory. He spotted Jeannie looking over the latest Luke Borman discovery.

With laughter in her eyes, she waved her brother over. "I cannot believe he gets published. Take a look, Mer." A chipped fingernail lanced at an equation. "Three guesses to find what's wrong with that, and the first two don't count." The man had nowhere near the brainpower of Rodney McKay and Jeannie Miller. Together, they were unstoppable. Of course, the math would be correct, and more enlightened than this nonsense.

"Oh, for... We need to buy this, and mail it back to him with bad corrections." Classified is classified, right?

"And in _pieces_!"

They stood in the aisle laughing like crazy geniuses. Jeannie was happy to see the mischievous gleam back in her brother's eyes. "Let's go find Maddie."

The store clerk gave an annoyed smile as Rodney dumped an arm load of books and magazines on the counter. Just to spite the wannabe hipster at the register, Rodney kept adding impulse-buy items lining the racks below the counter. His fingers paused over a journal; he remembered the last time John suffered a traumatic experience, Kate had suggested a journal. Grabbing the four stuffed into the rack, he offered his credit card with a smile.

oOoOoOoOo

Bouncing from store to store left Rodney hungry, and a little irritated. The bright sunshine and pleasant breeze made him think of Atlantis more than he was comfortable. His thoughts kept straying to an injured colonel, laid up in bed. Twice he picked up his cell phone, only to have Jeannie snatch it away.

"If there's something wrong, Kaleb will call."

Sighing, he watched Maddie skip ahead of them, blonde curls bouncing. "Has it been an hour yet?"

"It has, but I thought you wanted to go in here?"

Looking up in confusion, Rodney wondered when they had arrived at Zellers. "Yes, yes. Give me ten minutes."

"I'll get the car."

Exactly ten minutes later, Jeannie found Rodney standing at the curb with three giant bags.

"What on Earth, Mer?" She released the hatch on the Prius, hoping everything would fit.

"Just some things I thought we could use."

She stuck her hand into a random bag. "Bubble bath? In four different scents, I might add." Her hand dipped in again. "Koosh balls?"

"You have no idea how much those help with stress," Rodney whined, stuffing the bags down in the back. When he settled into the passenger seat, his stomach rumbled loudly.

"Jeez, Mer. I guess we need to feed you!"

Rodney wanted to protest, but his empty stomach only growled louder. "Fine. Fine. Make it quick."

oOoOoOoOo

As Kaleb worked, his brother-in-law's words turned slowly in his head. The last time John had stayed with them, there were no nightmares, no screaming in the night. Or, Rodney caught it in time, he thought, before there was a disturbance. If that were the case, that would mean Rodney dealt with this on a regular basis.

Enough to know to 'stay on the left'.

As if on cue, Kaleb heard a muffled yell from below. Rushing downstairs, he came to the bedroom door. Before he knocked, a groan sounded from within. Politeness be damned. If anything happened to the colonel, Rodney would have Kaleb Miller's head on a stick.

If not, his wife definitely would.

Opening the door slowly, Kaleb hoped John was awake. The injured man was indeed awake, but sitting on the floor, very pale and shivering. "John?"

The man flinched and drew his knees up, resting his casted arms atop them. On further examination, Kaleb noticed that John was soaked with sweat.

"John?" he inquired again, moving closer; a slight moan was his answer.

Sheppard's glassy eyes tried to focus on the other man's face.

"I'm going to come closer, okay?"

Closing his eyes, John shook his head. "No. It doesn't work. I told you."

Still dreaming. "That's okay. I'm going to help you." Kaleb kept his hands visible as he took another step forward.

"Where's Rodney?" John's voice was barely above a whisper.

Surveying the twisted and damp bedsheets, Kaleb wondered how bad dreams could be. "He'll be back soon. We can call Jeannie if you want."

The glassy eyes sharpened their focus. "You don't know Jeannie." Sheppard rose faster than Kaleb was prepared, suddenly looming over him. "Who are you?"

Raising his hands, Kaleb tried not to squirm under the intense gaze of the colonel. "John? It's Kaleb Miller. You're at my – Jeannie's house. Rodney brought you here yesterday."

John's eyes softened immediately. "Kaleb? Sorry!" He swayed back into the curtains. "Oh, God. I –"

Placing his hands on John's shoulders, Kaleb held tight. "You back with me?" The colonel nodded uncertainly. "Okay. I'm taking you to the living room. You can rest there while I change the sheets."

"I... I can help."

Kaleb frowned as he felt John shiver under his hands. Knowing the colonel didn't want to be a burden, and he certainly didn't want to feel useless, Kaleb handed John a pillow. "You're in charge of pillows." He reluctantly left John to fetch matching sheets. Returning, he found the colonel working on the second pillowcase.

As he smoothed out the cool top sheet, he saw John's head bob once. Kaleb shook his head, unable to fathom the exhaustion and paleness his new friend displayed. The old Air Force T-shirt he wore was sweat-soaked, and the man wasn't going to last much longer.

"We should probably change that shirt, okay?"

"Mmm," John answered, eyes drooping further.

Guiding John to the bed, Kaleb maneuvered the languid arms without resistance. He finally saw what Rodney had been so worried about. It wasn't so much the countable ribs, but the massive bruise that covered John's right side.

"It's ugly," John mumbled, sad smile briefly bending his lips.

"No kidding," Kaleb said absently. "Sorry." He pulled back the covers, inviting John to lie down. Clearly, pillowcase duty had exhausted him. "I'll get a damp cloth for your head."

When he returned, he found John staring morosely at his pillow. "John?"

Sighing heavily, John glanced back at the other man. "I'm tired of being tired," he said as he all but collapsed onto the bed. He waved away the fresh shirt, opting to cool down first.

"Well, if you'd sleep for more than an hour, you might feel better." At John's derisive snort, Kaleb smiled. Adjusting the top sheet over the man's stomach, he lay a damp cloth over John's forehead. With a second cloth, he sponged down the colonel's exposed torso.

Kaleb had worked in a hospice one summer when he was in college. John reminded him of those patients, who never wanted sympathy or pity, only comfort. Relief flooded him as the colonel began to relax. Kaleb wondered what kind of people would do this to another person, as he stared at the mottled chest.

John mumbled his thanks, and slipped into deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Glancing occasionally at her brother, who stared out the window forlornly, Jeannie wondered if he was okay. She had so many questions about Mer's life in Atlantis, and his friends, but she didn't know how to broach the subject. Jumping in with both feet, she asked the first question that came to mind.

"What?" Rodney squinted at her. "Of course I'm fine."

Jeannie wanted to back away from her line of questioning, but she couldn't stop. John was broken, Mer was acting like a mother hen, and he actually bought things for other people. "I'm just asking. How about John? Did he sleep okay last night?"

Rodney actually hesitated; he was about to lie to his sister. Suddenly, he rolled his eyes. "No, he didn't. If I can get him to sleep more than two hours at a time, I will have achieved something." Leaning his head against the cool window, he closed his eyes. "One minute he's fine, acting perfectly normal. The next, he's skittish and clinging to me like a scared kid."

"I noticed. It's a little unnerving." With a surge of affection, Jeannie patted his knee. "You know what, Mer? You're a good friend. An understatement I know. But John trusts you. He trusts you so much, that he let you take him on a plane, away from familiar territory."

Frowning, Rodney glanced at her hand on his knee. "He trusts me when he's lucid, anyway. While he was in the infirmary, several times he didn't believe it was me. He thought someone was playing a trick on him. The first thing John told me was he couldn't do this anymore."

"Can't do what anymore?" Jeannie had a feeling she didn't want to know.

Crossing his arms, Rodney took a deep breath. "It's not like bad things happen to us every time we step through the gate. But the threat is there, and some people just don't like us."

Jeannie couldn't imagine cities and villages against the Atlantis expedition, let alone entire worlds. She squeezed his hand, hoping the contact would help. Turning down a street one block shy of hers, Jeannie glanced in the mirror. "Hey, Maddie. You wanna play with Lucy for a couple hours?"

The little girl beamed; it was hard to tell if the intense visit of her uncles was stressful yet. "Can I spend the night?"

"Not this time, sweetie. Maybe next week, okay?" Jeannie made a mental note to ask Lucy's mom about Maddie's impending plans.

oOoOoOoOo

When they finally unloaded the car, Jeannie turned to her brother. "Now, I'd really like you to take a nap, Mer. You are so cranky right now."

Rodney gave his best derisive snort. "Whatever. I'm always like this." After all, he'd only had two cups of coffee today. Speaking of which…

"Uh uh, no! You are going nowhere near my coffee maker. Poor thing hasn't seen this much action since Kaleb was a TA."

"Please. I'm not harming your precious appliance. If it breaks, I'll get you a better one."

"That's so not the point, Meredith." Jeannie pointed a severe finger at him. "If I smell coffee at two in the morning, I will punch you in the neck."

Giving a smirk to rival his best friend's, Rodney crossed his arms. "Now who's cranky?"

Jeannie mirrored his stance. "I am not cranky. You need to sleep as much as John," she said quietly.

"Actually, no, I don't. I'm not the one who was captured and beaten! I –" Slicing the air with a dismissive hand, Rodney gathered his scattering thoughts. "Well the point is, I don't sleep much anyway."

Saddened by her brother's tone, Jeannie took her brother's wrist, guiding him towards the bedroom. "Just lie down for one hour. Stare at the ceiling for all I care, but lie down!"

"Hey! What's going on?" Kaleb admonished quietly as he left the guest room.

"What are – What happened?" Rodney's blue eyes immediately widened as he snatched his hand away from Jeannie.

Kaleb raised his hand to calm the siblings. "He's fine. His fever went up a bit; I came to check on him. He had a bad dream earlier, but he's fine now."

Pushing past both people, Rodney entered the room to find John stripped to the waist and a cloth obscuring his eyes. The blankets had been pushed away, twisted at his feet.

"I wasn't sure what kind of medicine he was taking, so I didn't give him any Tylenol," Kaleb explained.

Flapping a hand in Kaleb's general direction, Rodney sighed wearily. "It's fine. As long as he's asleep." He took in the pillows stuffed under John's right side, keeping his body at an angle. "How bad was the dream?"

Kaleb opened his mouth to answer, but the colonel blinked awake. "It wasn't that bad, McKay," he replied, sounding more like himself. "You're grumpy. Take a nap." Then he drifted away.

"Why do I keep hearing that? I am not cranky." Rodney sat down on the bed, surveying his patient. John had been propped up on the right side by pillows. Evidently, his side bothered him more than he let on. Watching John breathe deeply, Rodney felt a familiar lethargy overcome him.

Jeannie pulled her husband out of the room. When Rodney kicked off his shoes, she felt sure he would sleep. "Call if you need anything," she whispered. Closing the door behind them, she directed Kaleb to the living room. "I can't believe he's here and not in a hospital!"

"You should see the rest of him," Kaleb said, distracted by the overflowing bags. "What is all this stuff?"

Sighing, Jeannie placed her hands on her hips. "Bubble bath and koosh balls, among other things."

"I love koosh balls. Great for stress."

"Are you saying I'm stressed?" Crossing her arms, she glanced from her husband to the closed door of the guest room. "Maybe I am. A little. I'm just worried about them."

Putting his arms around her, Kaleb squeezed lightly. "Whatever is wrong, they'll sort it out. But we'll have to be patient. I mean, they've only been here less than two days."

"I know, I know. Maddie's seen them more than me." Jeannie gave a sidelong glance. "Am I being weird?"

Kaleb smiled. "As opposed to any other day? Ouch!" Rubbing his arm where she punched it, he sobered. "I'm sure when they're ready, they'll tell you everything. They need a lot of rest though. A continuously cranky Rodney is not something I want to endure."

Jeannie nodded, distracted by a running list in her head. "And we're almost out of coffee."

oOoOoOoOo

_Swish._ Thunkthunkthunkthunk. _Swish. _Thunkthunkthunkthunk. _Swish._

Rodney opened his eyes, seeing a casted arm idly moving along the headboard. Long fingers lightly touched the dark wood, exploring every ridge.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Rodney mumbled.

John took a deep breath. "Can't feel her. She's gone."

Blinking awake, Rodney pushed himself up on one elbow. "Who?"

In the dimming afternoon light, John's eyes were dark and haunted. He closed them, taking a deep breath. "Doleo ere quod."

Now Rodney was fully awake. "What are you sorry about?" He watched John eye him suspiciously, but not see him at all. "Well?"

"Atlantica. Doleo ere quod."

Reaching out, Rodney pulled John's arm down without resistance. He knew the man was still half asleep, judging from the stilted Ancient John spoke. Rodney never thought the colonel listened to him; enduring long hours in the chair must have taught John a few things.

Rodney felt John's eyes following his hands as Rodney snagged a glass of water off the bedside table. "Bibere defensor." After a few gulps, John lay back against the pillows, mumbling his thanks. "Probe fecisti."

John smiled happily. "I knew you cared."

As much as he wanted to respond, Rodney knew it would be in vain. "Go to sleep. Idiot."

John let out a sleepy chuckle, and curled on his left side.

Rodney checked his watch as he climbed off the bed. He changed his shirt, and left the room quietly.

Jeannie and Kaleb lounged on the couch, each with a magazine. The house was more quiet than Rodney was used to, and he wondered if this was what set off Sheppard. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Mer. Have a good nap?"

Out of habit, Rodney went straight to the fridge. "Fine, fine. Until Sheppard woke me by speaking Ancient."

Jeannie stopped idly flipping pages to gaze at her brother. "I didn't know he could speak it. What did he say?"

Rodney shuffled around the kitchen making a cheese sandwich. "Basically, he missed Atlantis. I think it's a little more quiet than he's used to right now."

"He sleeping okay?" Kaleb asked, looking a little apprehensive.

"He's fine, actually. Better than when he was at the SGC." Rodney turned around to find his sister staring intently at him. "What?"

"What about you?"

"If I recall correctly, I've already answered that question."

Jeannie walked slowly into the kitchen. "Why did you send him to the SGC? You told me part of the story, so I want to hear more."

Rodney blinked at her quiet question. There were things he wasn't prepared to share about life in the Pegasus Galaxy. He went with a partial truth. "Well, it was for his own good, you know." Setting his sandwich on a napkin, Rodney cleared his throat. "Since John can communicate with Atlantis on a whim, he never got the rest he needed."

"Oh yeah, that's right. He can initialize Ancient systems with a thought." She smiled at her brother's surprise. "John told me about it when I first came to Atlantis. He said he didn't want me to freak out if doors start opening, and things start lighting up of their own accord."

"How considerate of him," Rodney replied, chewing thoughtfully. "I took him out of the SGC because any time they communicated with Atlantis, so would he. John can be a handful when he wants to be."

"You're not kidding."

Rodney sipped on a tall glass of water. "I think we're making progress." He glanced around the kitchen. "So, um, what's for dinner?"

oOoOoOoOo

After eating his fill of pizza, Rodney went to check on John, who was still sleeping. "I don't know if I should wake him or not. I mean, I doubt he's ready for double veggie surprise."

"You're probably right, Rodney,"Kaleb said. "There's some protein shake stuff in the cabinet if you want."

Wrinkling his nose, Rodney thought about every time a doctor forced those on his friend. "I don't know. We'll ask later."

"Uncle Mer?" Maddie demurely stood in front of him. "Can I say good night to Uncle John?"

Rodney thought about this for a second. He remembered what happened last night, and decided, "Yep. Let's go check on him."

"Hey, Maddie?" Jeannie called. "Be really quiet okay? John's still sick, remember?"

The little girl rolled her eyes. "Of course I 'member, mommy." She took Rodney's hand and led him to the guest room. Before he could stop her, she climbed onto the bed carefully.

Surprisingly, John was slightly awake, and didn't flinch away. A week ago, this action might have sent him into a panic attack. Nevertheless, his eyes tracked everything that moved.

"Hi, Uncle John," Maddie whispered. "You still feel bad?"

Nodding slightly, John offered a little smile.

"It's okay. You'll feel better soon. Uncle Mer's here, and Mommy and Daddy and me. Tomorrow's smoothie day. Do you like strawberries?" She barely waited for his nod. "Mommy'll make you a strawberry one."

"That sounds good, Maddie. I'm sure he'll like it." Rodney motioned his niece with reaching hands.

"Maddie. Time for bed," Jeannie called to her daughter. "Daddy's got a story for you."

The little girl rolled her eyes in the McKay fashion. "I gotta go to bed now. I hate bedtime. They read stories for babies, but I'm not a baby anymore." Scooting closer, her fingers barely touching John's hair. Shyly, Madison kissed his cheek. "Night, Uncle John," she whispered.

"Night," John whispered back, chuckling at her genetically crooked smile.

Hopping off the bed, Maddie wrapped her arms around Rodney's legs. "Night, Uncle Mer!" Then, she was gone.

oOoOoOoOo

John sat upright, willing the room to stop spinning. Again. He needed water, and to ready himself for bed. Brushing his teeth, he leaned against the sink, wondering what tomorrow would bring. When he exited the bathroom, John staggered back to the bed, avoiding Rodney's outstretched hand.

"I know you don't want to, but you need to take your meds for another week." Rodney refilled the glass of water, thinking about getting a pitcher. He was a little worried as he watched John gulp down the water. Carolyn had warned him that one of the pills would make him thirsty. Not that he could remember which one, but he made a mental note to get that pitcher.

John was asleep by the time Rodney turned out the lights, and it was only eight-thirty at night. Rodney flipped on the bathroom light, and pulled the door closed slightly. The last thing he needed was John or himself tripping over something in the dark.

Leaving the room, Rodney retrieved his laptop. A little work before bed was customary, even habit by now; Rodney was always in favor of routine. He deleted forty unread emails, and answered three. After an hour, Rodney rubbed his tired eyes. Sure, Jeannie was right. So was Carolyn Lam. He needed as much rest as he could get, especially taking care of his best friend.

As soon as he entered the room, Rodney heard a whimper. Just when John could sleep deeply, a nightmare would pop up. This one seemed mild, however, Rodney got ready for bed noisily. Sometimes, if John could hear another person near him, he would calm.

"What are you doing here?" John's cold voice cut through the silence.

"What?" Rodney automatically looked over his shoulder then back. "Are you still dreaming?"

John suddenly sat upright. "You have to leave! They're coming back!"

Turning on a light, Rodney climbed onto the bed. John didn't even flinch at the sudden brightness. "John? You're safe. We're in Vancouver."

"Oh." John lay back down, curling on his side.

"Jeez, Sheppard. You're gonna be the death of me."

oOoOoOoOo

When John woke again, the sun was high in the clear blue sky. He glanced out the window hoping for a fluffy cloud to pass to ensure he wasn't dreaming. Muffled voices could be heard behind the closed door. Sitting up carefully, John stretched his stiff muscles. He also noticed he was wearing a clean shirt and boxers. "That's not right," he said aloud.

Dressing slowly, John sat on the bed for a few moments to gather strength to walk out of the room. He saw Rodney and Jeannie sitting at the dining room table, shoulder to shoulder, laughing. John thought he'd hear Rodney laugh like that again.

Papers littered the floor and table; numbers and symbols every which way filled every sheet.

"I cannot believe this math! Even if he was working on something top secret, and couldn't reveal everything, this math wouldn't make since."

"Maybe he stumbled onto something, and couldn't – No, it doesn't make sense at all." Jeannie rose, grabbing glasses. "Hey, John! Good to see you up and around."

"What?" Rodney whipped around in his chair. "Oh, hey."

"Hi, guys. What's goin' on?" John shuffled forward, calculating the distance to the next chair, and dividing it by his flagging strength.

Rodney stood, and in a split second, he was beside John, offering his arm. John took it willingly, placing one foot in front of the other. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Correcting math," Rodney said tersely.

"Not just any math. One of the leading theoretical astrophysicist in the U.S."

John glanced at the stray pages of a book. "This is crap. All of these sets are in the wrong place. Did anyone check this?"

"You'd think there was at least a proof reader," Jeannie said, placing a glass of juice in front of John.

Rodney snorted. "Maybe he did. That's the scary part."

"John? Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am, actually." Glancing around the living room, then outside. "Where's Maddie?"

The siblings looked at each other. "She's at school. She should be back in about an hour," Jeannie said with a sympathetic smile.

"It's Monday, John." Rodney turned to look his friend in the eye. "You slept through Sunday. Well, mostly. You don't remember the pleasant trips to the bathroom? The clothes changing incident? Or, hey let's hit Rodney because I think he's an alien? None of this ringing a bell?"

John felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Sorry, buddy. Must've missed that."

"Well," Jeannie chimed in. "I don't know about the last one, but your fever broke yesterday afternoon, and you were pretty vocal about someone named Kolya." She glanced between the men; both wore an identical grimace, shifting uneasily.

Rodney waved a hand. "The only thing that would shut you up was background noise. I turned on Cartoon Network, and endured ten hours of horribly inane cartoons."

Pursing his lips, the colonel thought back; there was a void in his memory. This only happened when he was in the infirmary. "Sorry I missed Smoothie Sunday."

Jeannie brightened. "Maddie insisted we save one for you." She handed over a frozen glass with pink liquid. "Strawberry, as ordered."

Picking up the glass with two hands, John drank the thick fruity drink. "Sweet," he responded with a smile. Setting the glass down with a thunk, he grabbed a blank piece of paper. "Gimme one of those equations." He felt his sluggish mind start to sharpen focus.

Rodney gave a crooked smile, shoving the book in front of the other man. "Go for it. What's more insulting than having an Air Force pilot correct theoretical aeronautics?"

oOoOoOoOo

After two hours of numbers, brackets, and sibling rivalry, John wandered to the living room. Dropping into a chair, he gazed out the big window, contemplating a walk. A short one of course, but a walk nevertheless. His heart rate picked up at the mere thought, and John began calculating.

"You're not getting any ideas, are you?"

Taking several breaths to calm himself, he set his face in what he hoped was an impassive mask. "Now who's being stealthy?"

Rodney shrugged, then crossed his arms. "Learned from the best." He came forward to stand next to the colonel, gazing out the window. "What are you planning?"

"I'm not planning. I'm plotting."

"Ha! I knew you were up to something."

John rolled his eyes, instantly regretting the action. "I just want to go for a walk."

"What?" Rodney sat in the opposite chair, and leaned forward. "Sheppard, you can't even stand for more than ten minutes, now you want to walk? Next you're going to tell me you're going for a jog."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes again, John raised a hand to calm his friend. "I – Just to the end of the driveway." With his best puppy dog eyes, he leaned forward. "Please?"

Rodney looked out at the driveway; now he knew the course John had been plotting. "All right fine. But I am not carrying you back."

"I'll be fine." John pointed at the bags positioned by the door. "What's with the bubble bath?"

Rodney shrugged. "Bribery, actually. Do you know what Miko will do for things that smell like jasmine?"

All teeth and dimples, John rose from the chair at the same time as Rodney, who immediately offered his arm. John took it, and together they shuffled out of the house and down the driveway. He walked unaided down the cement path, however, the return trip was spent clinging to Rodney's arm.

But he was outside, under a bright blue sky.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney woke to weak sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains. And an empty bed. He closed his eyes, knowing that John was more mobile now, and insisted on taking care of himself.

Barking dogs brought him out of his fugue; Rodney had heard those dogs every day around the same time. This was the first time he was conscious enough to realize it really was the same time every day. Checking his watch, Rodney pushed back the covers, shivering against the chilled air. He wondered if John was in the backyard again, where he'd been every morning since he woke from his twenty-six-hour nap.

Today was Friday, and Maddie had plans to spend the night at Lucy's house. Her mother and her uncle planned a night of bad movies and take-out. Eager to start the day, Rodney rubbed his hands together, anticipating his first cup of coffee.

Pouring the rich, dark roast into a giant mug, Rodney turned at the sound of the front door quietly opening and closing. What he didn't expect to find was John, shrugging out of a jacket.

"Were you outside?" Rodney asked, a little louder than he intended.

Tossing his most cavalier smile, John strode into the kitchen. "Mornin', Rodney. You're up early."

Rodney took a large gulp of scalding coffee to avoid blowing up at his friend. Setting it calmly on the counter, he scowled at the dark depths. "How long?"

Knowing better than to play ignorant, John filled a glass with water. "Since Tuesday. I just walk Maddie to the curb where she catches her bus, then I come straight back."

As much as Rodney wanted to be angry, he knew this day would come. John's health was improving, and he was a lot more independent. Even his nightmares had lessened. He should be happy for John, but Rodney still felt he needed to watch for cracks in the mask. The better the colonel got, the better his mask.

"... first day. We were almost late! I couldn't walk that fast," Sheppard was saying, eyes distant as Rodney's mind. "Sat on that bench for damn near twenty minutes before I could come back."

"I know you want to do stuff on your own, but could you please let me know before you do that?"

John nodded sagely. "Copy that, buddy. Don't think I'm not watchin' you either."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you should be getting more sleep. We do share a room, you know."

"Oh please. I'll probably never sleep again after this trip."

Sipping his water, John checked his watch. "Hey, there's an X-Files marathon on today. You game?"

Refilling his mug, Rodney nodded absently. "I guess. Anyone else here?"

"Nope. Jeannie's volunteering at Kaleb's school. Some sort of special day today."

"Uh, that would be graduation. It's tomorrow or tonight. Something."

John's limp was almost non-existent as he puttered around the kitchen. "Cool. Want breakfast?"

"Yes, but let's get outta here. I need bacon." Rodney hurried to change.

"Thank God."

oOoOoOoOo

They spent the afternoon doing absolutely nothing. A little golf, a long nap, and the finishing touches on the love letter two geniuses and a pilot would send to the pseudo-scientist.

"This is awesome," John said, checking over his last equation. "I can't believe you're letting me send trajectories for Blackhawks and Ospreys. This guy'll never know what hit 'im."

Rodney's crooked grin remained fixed as they gathered all the stray pages filled with numbers. "Well, it's just like those variations he wrote. But yours will actually work."

"Do you think this guy is laughing at us? Did he think no one would notice? Or is that the plan?"

"I seriously doubt he thinks anyone will read this drivel. And by the time you get through this tome, your brain is fried."

The overhead light flickered, and eventually went out. It wasn't quite dark out at four in the afternoon, but the day had been cloudy.

"Oh great. Now we have to look for a bulb. John, I – John?"

The man sat, absolutely still, glowing pale in the dim light. The light flickered back on, revealing vacant eyes and white knuckles. Rising stiffly from the table, John turned on his heel and left the dining area.

Rodney heard the guest room door quietly close as the bulb finally gave out. "I don't know how to respond to that. What do I do?" He paced around the kitchen, wondering if he should go after his traumatized friend. Stepping in the direction of the room several times, then finally made his body enter the room.

John sat on the bed visibly shivering. "Not yet."

Exasperated, Rodney flopped down beside John, who flinched and scooted away. "Sorry. But are you okay?"

John seemed to concentrate on breathing, closing his eyes. "Gimme a minute."

Rising slowly, Rodney made sure his hands were visible. He jerked his head in the direction of the door. "I'm gonna look at take out menus. I'll tell Jeannie –"

"No, I'm good. I just need to lie down for a while."

"Uh, okay." Rodney had an idea. "We could go for a walk before dinner if you want."

Lying in the middle of the bed, John folded his casted arms across his chest. He hoped his smile looked genuine. "Sure, Rodney." The darkening room felt like a good place to freak out.

Nodding, the scientist left the room, tightly closing the door. He searched the closets for new light bulbs. _If this were Atlantis, I would be more concerned. _Replacing the bulb, Rodney sat down staring at the sliver of the closed door he could see from his chair.

oOoOoOoOo

Jeannie came home to a dark house, and her brother dozing on the couch. Kaleb followed her, arms full of bags. "Why's it dark? Are they home?" he asked.

Turning on a light farthest from Rodney, she glanced around the house. The guest room door was closed; either John was sleeping, or there was a fight.

"Oh, hey guys. I didn't hear you come in," Rodney said around a yawn. I ordered from the Chinese place down – What?"

"What did you do? Where's John?" Jeannie placed her hands on her hips; Rodney tried and failed to wipe the image of their mother from his thoughts.

"Nothing! He's taking a nap." Checking his watch, he weaved around the coffee table, and walked towards the guest room. "I'm going to wake him. He said he was looking forward to bad movies."

"Sorry, Mer. I didn't mean to accuse you, but sometimes... Anyway, Chinese sounds great." Jeannie frowned as Kaleb shuffled around, conspicuously ignoring the potential argument.

Waving a dismissive hand, Rodney continued walking. "I know, I know." Quietly opening the door, he took a deep breath, prepared for the worse.

Instead, he found John awake, and flipping through a comic book. "Hi, Rodney." Closing the book, he rose, pulling on a zip-front sweatshirt Rodney had bought for him. He shoved his fists into the oversized pockets. "Sorry about, um, earlier. The light. It... it just reminded me of something."

"I figured. Well, the food should be here shortly, and Jeannie and Kaleb are home." Rodney stepped aside to let John pass. Soon they were in the kitchen dishing up various Asian foods.

"Jeez, Rodney! All of Atlantis could dine on what you ordered!" Jeannie looked around the cartons of food. "Who's gonna eat all this?"

Rodney shrugged. "No worries on that front. We'll have a nice lunch tomorrow."

Kaleb picked through the cartons. "Is that meat?"

"Sorry, vegetarians. John and I needed something –"

"With seared flesh in it," John supplied. "No offense."

Jeannie wrinkled her nose. "Yucky. None taken." Surreptitiously, she watched John place food on his plate. The portions were small, but at least he was eating more than he had all week. Glancing over at her brother, she noticed him doing the same thing. They caught each and laughed.

John eyed them both, then moved off to the living room to claim his spot. "You owe me a walk, McKay."

"After dinner."

"I'll hold you to it."

oOoOoOoOo

Dinner was unrushed and calming. Kaleb and John chatted about _War and Peace_, while Jeannie and Rodney argued about the CNO cycle, and what may have caused their new planet's sun to go red. The two men moved on to electronics, and the subsequent setup of the new home theater system.

Tapping John's shoulder, Rodney gestured towards the door. "We can take a walk while Jeannie makes popcorn."

"Okay." They walked outside; Rodney shivered in the cool evening air. "Do you need a jacket?" John asked as they walked down the driveway.

"I'm fine. We're not going that far."

They walked two houses down and back. Halfway up the driveway, John faltered. The meds had all but stopped, but he still tired easily.

"Let's go back inside," Rodney said quietly. "I'm sure everything's set up by now. It's not like you're going to make it through two movies."

"Hey! I'll be fine." John was tired, but optimistic for the first time in a long time.

oOoOoOoOo

Twenty minutes before the second movie ended, John was sound asleep. He had found a way to curl up on his right side comfortably, propped against the back of the sofa.

"God, Mer. How does he look so young? Are you sure he's older than you?"

Rodney threw popcorn at his sister. "Teyla always says, 'while the man is at rest, the boy will appear.' Or something like that."

"I guess so," Jeannie replied. "How is Teyla? And Ronon?"

"They're fine. Did you know Teyla's pregnant?"

Jeannie gasped. "No!"

"Yeah! Some guy from her village. Didn't even know she had anyone."

"Wow. Tell her I said congrats."

"Yeah, from me too." Kaleb said, shouldering his wife. "One day I'll get to meet her."

"Absolutely, honey." Jeannie snuggled against Kaleb. "When's she due?"

Rodney shrugged, leaning back against the couch. He would've never known if she hadn't said anything. "No idea. Can't even tell yet. I mean –"

John woke suddenly, narrowly missing Rodney's head with his foot. His skin was so pale it glowed in the dim light. "Rodney?" John asked weakly, as he tried to rise.

"Whoa, whoa! Hang on!" Rodney jumped to his feet, knowing that look in John's eye so well. Grabbing his arm, Rodney propelled John towards the bathroom, where John threw up everything he'd ever eaten.

When it was over, the colonel leaned back against the tub, letting the coolness of the object seep through his damp shirt. Peripherally, he felt his body being lifted and placed somewhere warm. _They're going to kill me now. Nice of them to do it on a warm soft bed._

Weakly, he struggled against too many hands. Instinct took over; he wasn't going down without a fight. The soldiers called his name over and over, but one voice broke through the fog. One voice determined to pull him out of the darkness.

"Sheppard! Open your eyes! It's me!"

A whimper escaped his lips. John knew they were lying again. Hands tightened around his sore shoulders. If it were really Rodney, he wouldn't hurt him like this.

"Come on, John. Wake up, okay?" A woman's voice pleaded with him.

_Now they're using women? _Where did they find these people who sounded like his friends? John knew the Genii were devious, but this was just plain mean.

"Sheppard? John! Snap out of it! You're safe! Can you hear me?"

_Rodney?_ No. Not Rodney. This Rodney was tired and frightened and pale.

Liars.

"You're safe, John." A new voice announced.

The colonel focused on a dark-haired man across the room. He didn't look like the rest, wearing a blue shirt with words across his chest.

_I only like one Rilo Kiley song,_ John thought as he focused on the man's shirt. Focus becoming sharper, the faces above him coalesced into Jeannie and her brother, Meredith Rodney McKay.

"Hey, hey! There you are," Rodney said with a faltering smile.

Rilo Kiley – Kaleb – disappeared briefly, returning with a glass of water and a damp towel. Feeling warm hands under his head, John focused on Rodney, who held the glass to his lips.

"Just rinse first. I think you bit your lip."

John did as he was told, spitting into a proffered bowl. The salty coppery taste in his mouth vanished, and he greedily drank until Rodney stopped him. The room tilted to the left, making John squeeze his eyes shut. He wanted to open his eyes to assure his friends he was fine, however, his body had other plans. Warm darkness swallowed him whole.

"Oh my God, Mer," Jeannie whispered. "What was that?"

Rodney closed his eyes, sagging just a little. "That was a John Sheppard Special." Glancing at the clock, he reached for his cell phone. "I need to call Carolyn."

"Okay, Mer. Let us know if we can help." Jeannie squeezed Kaleb's hand. She watched John's pulse throbbing at his exposed throat. Too fast. Way too fast. Leading her husband from the room, Jeannie closed the door behind them.

"Well of course it's an emergency!" They heard Rodney yell behind the closed door, footsteps pacing the length of the room.

Ten minutes later, he threw open the door. "Okay, okay. She'll be here in ten minutes, so if you could…" Rodney distracted himself with a list, making sure he could find his journal.

"No worries, Mer. Take care of John."

"Yes. Yes, yes." Disappearing back into the room, Rodney gathered all his supplies.

It had been such a good week. Everything seemed better. John seemed better. But Rodney's suspicions were confirmed; John was a ticking bomb that just went off.

oOoOoOoOo

A knock at the door jolted Rodney from his trance-like state. Carolyn Lam entered the room, all business. "Rodney? How's my patient?"

Behind her, Jeannie pulled her husband away from the bedroom. "Wait. Didn't you say the SGC was in Colorado? Is this how you saw that ship in space? What –" The questions whirled in his head; there was too much he didn't know.

"Sorry, honey. Classified." Jeannie smiled brightly as she closed the door.

Jerking her head towards the door, Carolyn frowned. "Rough night?"

"No, no. It was a great night. Great week, actually. Well, four days."

The doctor smiled. "I saw the popcorn." Smoothing away the damp hair on John's brow, she frowned again. "Well no fever. That's good."

"He had one about a week ago. Went away after about a day. Wrote it down and everything."

Glancing over the meticulously written daily reports, Carolyn nodded. "He slept an entire day?"

"Yeah," Rodney replied, straightening the blanket over his friend. "He's been okay since."

"Looks like it did him some good." She raised a casted arm. "Help me with him. I'd like to run some tests."

Rodney blinked. "What, now?"

"I'll be quick." She tapped her radio. "Doctor Lam to Colonel Caldwell."

"Caldwell, here. What can I do for you?"

"I need your infirmary for a bit. If you could beam the three of us directly there, I'd appreciate it."

"Copy that, Doctor. Three ready for transport."

In a flash of light, they were in the infirmary, levering John's long body onto an exam bed. Fifteen minutes later, the doctor sighed. "Well, his blood pressure's a little low, nothing to worry about right now. Other than that, John should be fine tomorrow."

Nodding absently, Rodney leaned against the next bed. "And he'll be sore and achy, probably with a scratchy throat."

Carolyn flashed a smile that turned sad. "You know the drill." She touched Rodney's shoulder. "You go get some rest. I'll take over John-watching duty."

"How long will he need to stay?"

"I'll radio you in the morning. We'll start an IV for now, and go from there."

Crossing his arms tightly across his chest, Rodney began pacing. "It's for the best. Keep him as long as you need to." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I guess I'll let Jeannie know he's okay."

"He'll be fine," she assured him. "Just hit a bump in the road."

Rodney wearily made his way back to the transport area. He would have to explain to his niece that her favorite uncle was out of commission again.

oOoOoOoOo

Because my Latin rocks. Not! These are approximate, but probably not too accurate.

_Doleo ere quod_ = I'm sorry

_Bibere defensor_ = Drink defender

_Probe fecisti_ = You did well


	5. Chapter 5

Rodney re-materialized in the backyard of his sister's home. As much as he wanted to crawl back into bed, he paced the back porch thinking about... everything. Most thoughts were about John, but his mind jumped from subject to subject. Ignition coils for the F-302s; possible energy alternatives for the ZedPMs; ZedPMs; ZedPMs; Teyla and Ronon and Jennifer; John hurting; John's nightmares; John's broken arms; the SGC; a replacement for Midway Station; prioritizing list after to-do list for Atlantis and Daedalus.

"Mer! What are you doing?" Jeannie exclaimed. "You scared me to death!"

Waving a dismissive hand, Rodney entered the house. He mumbled his apologies, and went straight to the bedroom. There was so much to be done, but right now, it was time to sleep.

"Good night, Mer."

"Night, Jeannie. Sorry about –" He waved his hand again.

"No worries. We'll go to breakfast tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Sure," Rodney blindly pulled back the covers. Snuggling deep inside, Rodney didn't notice the door closing or the light going off.

oOoOoOoOo

Waking up in a strange place is disconcerting in itself. Waking in a strangely familiar place is just annoying. John had done just that in too many infirmaries, knowing when to panic and when to be highly alert. One thing remained the same: medical bays always smelled the same. No matter what galaxy you were in.

This time, John felt more anxious. There was no stage whispering, no grunts, and no soft humming. Worst of all, Rodney wasn't there killing the keyboard on his laptop. He was alone; there was always someone waiting for him to wake. Opening his eyes a bit, the colonel studied the empty infirmary through dark lashes. The light above his head was too bright, but he waited to see if anyone noticed his awareness. He listened to soft noises all around him; the Daedalus was in orbit and not in a repair yard. Of all he heard, there was the constant beeping that began to increase.

Stupid heart monitor.

Rising slowly, John closed his eyes against the inevitable dizziness. Thankfully, the headache that normally followed, didn't make an appearance. Swinging his feet to the cold floor, John grabbed the IV pole, using it as a crutch, and removed the pulse/ox clamp. The closet of a bathroom was approximately twenty feet, dead ahead.

Not that he spent much time here; it was something he had to calculate once.

Once inside, he leaned against the cool metal door. John avoided the small round mirror while he took care of business. While he hoped his body was recovering, the last couple of days had worn him out. Whatever happened earlier – last night? – was bad enough, Rodney had to call someone. He vaguely remembered Carolyn Lam's cool voice.

_Dammit._

Placing his head against the door, John closed his eyes to gather his wandering thoughts. Upon exiting, he found the doctor leaning on the empty gurney he had just vacated.

"Well. Good to see you made it there," Carolyn said as she crossed her arms. "Now let's see you make it back."

_Why are doctors so mean? Hippocratic Oath, my ass._ John took it as a personal challenge, and returned to the bed exactly one second before his knees buckled.

Helping him back in bed, Carolyn sighed. "How bad is it? Rodney said you've been having headaches."

"Oh yeah?" John tried to keep snark out of his voice. "What else did he tell you?"

Carolyn Lam was the best poker player in The Mountain. She revealed nothing in her face, but her eyes showed annoyance, then amusement for the barest moment. "Lots of things, Colonel." Waving a leather bound journal in her hand, she finally smiled. "You should be happy Rodney takes care of you. I would've never let you out of my sight if he wasn't better at calming you down."

Wincing at her tone, John flopped back to the pillow. "He does well, when he wants." He slid his gaze over to her. "I just didn't mean for him to keep doing it."

The doctor's brow furrowed for a moment. "I'm sure he didn't mind, since you are his friend."

Rubbing his temple with long fingers, John wondered where this conversation was going. "He shouldn't – Rodney worries a lot. Too much about me."

Carolyn shrugged, checking his slightly swollen fingers, then his vitals. "Hate to break it to you, Colonel, but there's a whole city worried about you."

"Well, they shouldn't." John couldn't seem to keep the sharp tone out of his voice.

"Yeah, right," the doctor drawled. Pulling the blanket up to his neck, Carolyn's face softened. "Your brother's been trying to get a hold of you. I think someone tipped him off."

John held her gaze steadily, then broke away. "Okay," he replied, nodding once.

"Listen, John," she said, fiddling with his IV line. "Not to get your hopes up, but Vala Mal Doran would like to pay you a visit." At the colonel's confused look, she plowed on. "She can operate the Goa'uld healing device."

"Why didn't you use it before?"

Carolyn shook her head. "You were just too weak. Honestly, I'm not sure it will work now, but at least it may speed up some of your healing." She patted his left cast. "You're scheduled to have that come off next week."

"Really? Can't we take it off now?"

"Nice try, Colonel." She held up a hand to stop his protest. "We'll see. After Vala uses the device. The right one will take longer, even if the device speeds up healing. There are just some things that still require a modicum of good old fashioned healing on its own."

This time, John did snort. He squirmed around until he could get comfortable; the urge to cross his arms mulishly was nearly unbearable.

The doctor tilted her chin, studying his face. "Need something for your headache?"

"No. I'm fine. Really," John pouted. "When can I get outta here?"

Carolyn shrugged. "I'd really like you to stay overnight. The healing device can be taxing, so I want to keep an eye on you."

_Everyone wants to keep an eye on me!_ John tried to cross his arms; in truth, he wanted to punch something. "Can I at least talk to Rodney?"

Checking her watch, the doctor shook her head. "Why don't you get some rest for a bit, and then I'll scare you up a radio." Moving to a cabinet, Carolyn pulled out a syringe.

John shifted against the pillows. "Look, Doc, I don't need –"

"Believe me, Colonel," she said quickly. "I know all about your objections to drugs." Tapping a finger against the glass, the doctor pushed the plunger to rid the syringe of bubbles. "This will just take the edge off. Are you still nauseous?"

"I said I'm fine, Doc." John suddenly wanted to scrub his hands over his face and through his hair. Sighing deeply, he looked at her closely. "If I don't roll my eyes, I won't toss my cookies."

"Well, since Doctor McKay's not here, you shouldn't have a problem," Carolyn said, lifting an amused brow. Emptying the syringe in the IV port, the doctor checked her equipment once more.

A lopsided grin replaced the frown as John snuggled down under the thin blanket. "Touché, Doc." He held up a corner of the blanket. "Mind if I get a couple more of these?"

"It's a little chilly in here, sorry. Limited staff equals limited heat. I'll see what I can find."

Closing his eyes, John felt the dose of whatever hit him. Little aches and pains vanished as he relaxed. Two blankets were tossed and smoothed over him; John mumbled his thanks. Idly, he wondered if Rodney would sleep in.

oOoOoOoOo

Sitting at the kitchen table, Jeannie and Kaleb waited for Rodney to wake.

"I'm sure he'll wake up when he's ready, honey," Jeannie said, patting her husband's hand. She wondered when Kaleb had gotten so attached to her brother. "You know how he is; all-nighters for days, then crashes."

"That's so unhealthy."

On cue, the bedroom door opened, emitting a sleepy man. Rodney stumbled to the kitchen, barely noticing the couple. He went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a mug, and poured coffee. Taking a sip, Rodney immediately turned on his heel, and shuffled back to the bedroom.

"I don't even think he was awake," Kaleb said, rising from the table.

"You might be right." Jeannie sighed. "I guess we could bring him something back. We have to pick up Maddie by three."

Leaving the house, Jeannie wondered if John would return. Not that she missed him, but her daughter may have something to say about it. She distracted herself with a list, mentally planning the next week. If Jeannie were honest with herself, she knew she'd been planning everything based on John's absence.

Someone was going to have to keep Meredith occupied.

oOoOoOoOo

Skipping into the infirmary, Vala bounded over to John's bed. "Hello, handsome." She raised her hand, revealing a palm-sized device. "How are you holding up?"

The faintly gravelly voice startled John out of his reverie. He had been thinking about the last two weeks. How did he get himself into these situations? All he wanted to do right now was curl up and will everything to go away.

Blinking at her smiling face, John sat upright. "Hey, Vala."

Showing brilliantly white teeth, she patted his arm. "Ready for this?"

"In a minute. I need to make a phone call."

Vala crossed her arms, tossing a flirty smile. "Should I get Doctor Lam?"

John glanced over her shoulder, smiling shyly. "I don't… um… well."

"Ah," she said, tossing a pigtail behind her shoulder. Glancing around the vacant infirmary, Vala pulled the radio from her jacket. "Would you like to use this comm that somehow fell out of my pocket?" She tossed the tiny device onto his lap, then sauntered out of the area.

With a ridiculous grin, John tapped the radio. "Sheppard to McKay."

"_McKay. And you better have a damn good reason for calling so early."_

"Early? McKay, it's almost noon." John felt a weight lift from his shoulders. "Guess what? Vala's here with a healing device."

"_Think it'll work? The first time, they couldn't get near you."_

"Not sure, but it's worth a try."

Yawning, Rodney seemed less alert. _"Well, least you won't scare small children and animals."_

"Thanks, buddy. You know how to cheer a guy up."

"_Oh please, you're the one who thought it was a good idea to walk to a school bus stop. I'm –"_ Another yawn cut off Rodney's retort.

John sighed, picking at the corner of the blanket. "I like the park."

"_You like anything that involves the outdoors and countless germs. Since you're not here, I've been volunteered to take your place."_

John felt another smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "You'll be fine. Consider it a day off."

"_What? Day off?"_

"Yep. A day off from baby-sitting me."

"_I wasn't baby-sitting you. You're the one that called me, remember? Wait. Why did you call me? What's wrong? If Caldwell –"_

"Whoa, buddy slow down. Nobody's doing anything."

"_You didn't answer my question. What's wrong? You want me to come up?"_ Rodney became more alert.

"What? No!" John cursed the heart monitor again. "It's just…"

"_Look, I know you're probably anxious, but if you need anything, I can help."_

"I know," John whispered. From the entrance, Vala started waving her hands. "I guess it's time to go. See you tomorrow, Rodney."

"_Fine. You better go before Vala starts making those grabby hand gestures."_

Vala came skidding up to John's bed, wriggling her fingers into the healing device. _Hurry up!_ she mouthed.

"What? Oh... Like now. Go eat something, Rodney. You're cranky. Sheppard out." Handing the radio back to the former Goa'uld host, John smiled. "Well, let's get this over with."

Doctor Lam checked over his vitals once more, nodding to Vala. "Whenever you're ready. John, this is going to be a little painful at first, but hopefully it'll make you feel better."

"If not, I have other ways to make you feel better." Vala winked at the colonel.

John wanted to roll his eyes. Instead, he blushed furiously. Closing his eyes, he waited for Vala to work her magic.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney rolled over in bed when his stomach made loud sounds of protest. Honestly, he really didn't feel like leaving the room. He wanted to turn on the TV, pray for a Twilight Zone marathon, and shut out the rest of the world.

A light tap at the door snapped him back to the here and now. "Hey, Mer?"

Rodney closed his eyes, trying to ignore everything. "Go 'way. Be out later." He heard the door open, and the bed shift when someone sat next to him.

"Meredith Rodney McKay! You will wake up and eat this instant!" Jeannie used her best mom voice as she shook her brother. "I have too much to do today to deal with a hyperglycemic episode. Wake up!"

Blinking against the brightness of the room, Rodney rubbed his face with a shaky hand. "Sorry, sorry. I'm up." As soon as he muttered the words, his eyes slipped closed again. He felt a pinch on his arm. "Ow! What is your problem?"

"My problem is you, Mer. If John comes back and finds you in the hospital, I'm not sure Kaleb will survive his wrath."

"And you?"

Jeannie snorted. "John would never hurt me; he likes me better than you."

"You're probably right. Kaleb has no chance; Sheppard knows more literature than he lets on."

"Ooh! Rapier wit, plus snick and snark? Our colonel is such a catch."

Smiling, Rodney sat upright. "Witty, he is not. Juvenile and sarcastic, maybe, but not witty." He glanced inside the bag Jeannie proffered. "This better not be a cucumber and tomato sandwich."

"Nonsense! Ham and swiss on sourdough, yellow mustard, no mayo."

"From that place down the street?" Rodney showed more interest in eating as he dug out the wrapped sandwich. He should be over sandwiches at this point, he realized. But an MRE is very different than a freshly prepared, deli sandwich. Rodney munched on the Kosher dill, making appreciative noises.

Jeannie stood, planting a kiss at her brother's hairline. Without another word, she left the room reveling in the weight lifted off her shoulders.

oOoOoOoOo

Carolyn Lam watched her only patient sleep. It wasn't something she did often, but John Sheppard was rarely in her care. True, she had heard the stories of the colonel and his infamous reserved gurney on Atlantis. From his medical records, she read the many notes Carson had left in margins and on stickies about John's behavior. The colonel didn't like being idle at all, and sometimes hindered his recovery due to necessity or plain stubbornness.

The doctor knew of Sheppard's connection to The City, but never saw it first hand. One note in particular mentioned John staring off into space for nearly ten minutes while he conversed with Atlantis. Which was part of the reason he ended up on Earth. She had watched John occasionally reach out to touch a wall in his sleep; Rodney would catch it and place the wandering hand back underneath the blanket.

Now, the colonel mumbled incoherently, apparently not having the strength to lift his arms. The healing device seemed to do more harm than good, but in reality it was better than the pain of slow recovery. John had a reputation for high pain tolerance, and quicker than normal healing. She wondered if it had something to do with his stint as a bug. Carolyn's gaze strayed to the cast on his right arm.

"Shes'ta for your thoughts," whispered a voice to her left. Leaning against the wall, Vala crossed her arms tightly across her chest. Glancing from patient to doctor, she shivered slightly. "It's freezing in here. Is he all right?"

"I think he will be, if he lets himself recover. But you know how these soldiers are." Rising from her stool, Carolyn adjusted the blankets, pulling them up to the colonel's chin. "I think I'll take the left cast off while he's asleep. If you want, you can assist."

Bouncing from her perch, Vala came forward to Sheppard's bed. "Yes, definitely." Together, they shifted the patient's limp body on the bed, giving Vala more room to sit. "I cannot believe he didn't wake up after that," she remarked.

"That thing puts a person under better than anything I have here." Carolyn patted Vala's arm. "Don't worry, it's better this way." She knew the device had worked what magic it could, considering the damage. Bruises were lighter, including the one over the colonel's eye. It was the only one she was concerned about; the headaches John suffered would likely be less. She even removed the stitches.

Slinging John's arm across her lap, Vala made a satisfied noise. "Even though Colonel Sheppard is quite thin, he has very nice arms." She winked at the doctor. "Not as nice as Daniel's, but very pretty."

"I can't believe you just said that." Carolyn shifted a tray over; a sterile saw whirred quietly. "Hold him still."

In less than five minutes, John had a free arm. Albeit, covered in yellow and green splotches, but free of a cast.

oOoOoOoOo

"Uncle Mer? Will Uncle John come back for smoothies?" Madison skipped along beside Rodney as they walked to the neighborhood park.

"Maybe, if the doctor says he can." Rodney slowed his pace to look at his niece. "When he comes home, what do you want to do with him?"

The little girl glanced away thoughtfully. "I think we should play on the swings. Then we could have a tea party. Then he could bring me to the park."

"That's a lot. I think maybe he can push you on the swing when you come home from school."

"Okay!" She let go of his hand and ran ahead to the playground.

"Well, I guess John will have his hands full." Jeannie smiled at Rodney, glad that John would be returning to Vancouver.

Rodney sat on a bench, losing himself in the sounds of children. He let his mind wander, thinking of his list. Watching swings and slides, he began to calculate theories about vacuum space and energy.

His thoughts strayed to John and Atlantis. For the most part, John could redirect energy to different areas of The City from the chair. But it would be nice to have independent power in the lower regions, even the parts that were nearly destroyed by their short-lived flight and landing. He tried to imagine a fully functioning city, lit against the deep purple night of their new planet.

"Meredith!"

"What?" Rodney startled.

"You've been staring into space for almost an hour! You're scaring the kids! And maybe some parents." Jeannie sat down next to her brother, rubbing his arm. "Are you all right?"

Taking a deep breath, Rodney stretched his legs. "I'm fine. Just thinking about some things." He glanced around him, seeing the playground mostly empty and the sun dipping below the horizon. "What time is it?"

"It's dinner time, Uncle Mer!" Madison ran up to him, arms outstretched.

Rodney scooped her up, swinging her around. "Dinner time? We should go!"

"Yay!"

Setting the girl on her feet, Rodney leaned over to his sister. "Uh, what is for dinner?"

Jeannie squeezed his hand. "I'm not telling."

oOoOoOoOo

For the third time, John woke in the infirmary on the Daedalus. He felt more rested, but his dreams made him uneasy. Why was Rodney always in danger? Why was he the only person who could save his best friend?

Rubbing his face, John noticed the lighter weight on his left arm. The cast was gone! So were a lot of aches and pains. For the first time, John allowed himself a long, slow cat-like stretch. He flexed his left arm, grimacing at the clammy flesh. Rising, he surveyed the medical bay, listening for visitors. Hearing no one, John scooted off the bed, shuffling towards the bathroom.

While he felt slightly unsteady, John sighed with relief when the floor didn't tilt. However, he did feel warmer than usual; John hoped there wasn't some sort of relapse. As he walked into the bathroom, he finally noticed the stitch in his side didn't pain him as much. Oh, it was still there, just numbed. Either the healing device worked better than he hoped, or the painkillers were still doing the trick.

There was no shower, but John took the opportunity to rub a cool damp cloth everywhere he could reach. The cloth was rough on his face, but he relished the feeling, scrubbing away any remaining lethargy. He actually looked at himself in the mirror this time, frowning at his gaunt features. Nevertheless, John felt a little more whole.

Reaching over to the supply cabinet, he found a toothbrush and a disposable razor. Happily, John shaved and made himself more presentable. It was a miracle Madison didn't run away screaming. He even found a comb; it in no way tamed the unruly mop, but it was a start.

Exiting the bathroom, John peered cautiously around the door. The short doctor seemed to sneak up on him, but this time she was nowhere to be seen. His heart leapt triumphantly as he slid back into bed.

"Don't worry, she's not here." Vala appeared from a corner of the room. She closed the magazine she had been reading, and wandered over to John's bed. "So," she drawled, capturing his hand. "I've learned a few things while on Earth."

John's undamaged brow raised, trying not to laugh. "Oh yeah?"

"Um hmm," she said, a wicked smile lighting her sky blue eyes. Running her hands gently through his hair, Vala tilted her head inquisitively. "I can give you a trim if you like."

This time, John did let the laugh escape. "I would love a trim."

Bouncing away, Vala pulled out a pair of sharp scissors, apparently found after rummaging through drawers. She grabbed a towel from the bathroom and draped it over John's shoulders. Keeping her hands visible, Vala made certain the scissors were always in sight.

"You know, I was very effective with torture. Well, not me, me. But know that I will not hurt you, all right?"

Sighing with relief, John closed his eyes and nodded. He even forgot that she was actually an alien with sticky fingers. Even she seemed to know about trauma and sharp objects. Her low voice swept over him, relaxing him further.

A few minutes later, John felt fingers running through his hair again. He had dozed off under Vala's ministrations; he wondered when he had felt so safe with a stranger.

"Wake up sleepy head," Vala said, her smile softening in the bright light. "I trimmed more off the front obviously. Sleep a bit, and I'll be back."

With a sleepy smile, John curled up on his left side out of habit.


	6. Chapter 6

Steven Caldwell was never one to hold vigils in the infirmary. He made an exception today for a certain injured pilot, perching on a stool next to the only occupied bed. The colonel watched the younger man in a fitful sleep. Caldwell couldn't imagine the things Sheppard would dream about; even as a full-bird colonel, he wasn't sure he had seen as many terrifying things as John Sheppard.

The man woke with a start, narrowing his eyes at his visitor. John's sharp eyes softened when he recognized the officer. "Sir?"

"Sorry, Colonel. I just dropped by to deliver this." Holding out his hand, Caldwell revealed a tiny digital recorder. "I realize this has been an ordeal for you. And I apologize for asking you to do this when it's evident you're not ready. However, the IOA –"

Shaking his head, John held out his hand for the recorder. "Is there quarters available?" He threw back the blankets, and marched out of the infirmary.

"Here, Colonel. Use guest quarters. I'll notify Doctor Lam of your location."

"Thank you, sir. Give me about thirty minutes." John entered and shut the door before Caldwell could answer.

Colonel Caldwell took a deep breath. There weren't many who could get away with slamming a door in a superior's face. He made an exception.

Just this once.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney flipped another page of a graphic novel, marveling at the violence. But the story was strangely engrossing, and he finally understood why Sheppard liked them. He made notes in the margins for his friend to read later.

The radio beeped twice before Rodney answered it.

"_Rodney?"_

The colonel's raspy voice made Rodney freeze. "Sheppard? Are you okay?"

There was a long pause before John answered. _"Is there anyone around?"_

"No, everyone's in bed. And you didn't answer my question."

Another pause. _"I'm tired. I don't want to be here anymore."_

Alarm bells rang in Rodney's head. "Tell Hermoid to use the same coordinates he used last week to beam me out. You should land right next to the bed."

The radio went dead. In the next moment, Sheppard appeared next to the bed. Without the bruises, he was white as a sheet except two spots of color in his cheeks. His eyes were glassy as he stood shivering.

Standing slowly, Rodney approached the colonel cautiously. "John? What happened?" In the back of his head he knew the answer. He raised his hands to touch John's shoulder; the colonel jumped three feet to the left. Rodney tried a different tact. "I see you finally got your wish. One cast to go."

Glancing quickly around the room, John flexed his fingers on his left hand. Sidling over to the chest of drawers, he placed a hand to steady himself. He had changed back into the loose-fitting sweats, looking rumpled and exhausted.

"John, would you like me to help you?" Keeping his eyes on his friend, Rodney pulled back the covers, tossing magazines and books onto the floor.

Moving stiffly to the other side, John lay down closing his eyes. When Rodney tucked the covers around him, the colonel curled into a tight ball.

"Well, at least you got a haircut."

oOoOoOoOo

As Caldwell listened to Sheppard's report, he shifted uneasily. He had never heard the colonel speak without inflection before. No lazy drawl, no smart ass remarks. A dead, monotone voice droned on about his kidnapping and escape.

Halfway through, the colonel stopped the recording. "I can't take this," he said, rubbing his face.

He remembered how he found Sheppard in the guest quarters. In the darkened room, the colonel was curled in a corner breathing heavily. Caldwell thought he had fallen asleep, but as soon as he came near, Sheppard leapt upright, swaying against the wall.

"Colonel Sheppard?"

The man had flinched at his voice, and squeezed further into the corner. Sheppard hugged himself tightly, rubbing his still injured arm with his free hand. He suddenly moved, snatching the recorder off the desk. Shoving it into Caldwell's hand, Sheppard had quickly left the room.

Shaking his head, Caldwell rose from his desk to return to the bridge. On the way, he saw Carolyn Lam walking toward him. He winced at the woman's expression. "Doctor. What can I do for you?"

"I was told Colonel Sheppard would be in guest quarters. He's not there."

"Well, I'm sure he's somewhere on the ship. Have you paged him?"

The doctor crossed her arms. "I would, except we haven't issued him a radio."

Caldwell tapped a comm panel. "Hermoid, can you locate Colonel Sheppard?"

"_Colonel Sheppard has returned to the surface."_

"What?" The colonel and doctor chorused.

"_He appeared to be in distress. He contacted Doctor McKay, and calmed."_

Caldwell glanced at the shorter woman. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't think he would leave without your consent." As soon as he spoke the words, the colonel realized of whom he spoke.

Sighing, Carolyn turned back towards the infirmary. "I'll stay until morning, and check on him then. Then I'd like to return to SGC."

"Will do, Doctor. Good night." Caldwell resisted the urge to shove his hands in his pockets. Instead, he lifted his head and continued towards the bridge.

oOoOoOoOo

Rodney lay there staring at the ceiling. Whatever happened on that ship undid everything he had worked so hard to alleviate. He listened to John's harsh breathing; heat radiated from his body, making Rodney curse all medical doctors and their sticks and rattles. Turning out the lights, he waited for something to break.

At some point, he may have dozed off. The colonel's shivering became tremors, shaking Rodney to alertness. Turning to face John, he was surprised to see him awake.

"Sheppard? Are you cold?" There was no answer; Rodney feared the worse.

"A day after I was captured, the people sent me to a Genii-occupied world. They were looking for me, to activate a chair."

John's voice was barely above a whisper. Rodney froze in place, fearing sudden movement would silence the ailing man. Making a quick decision, Rodney opted for normalcy.

"Really?" Rodney answered, hoping for maximum sarcasm. "I'm sure that went over well."

"The commander," John continued. "He was like some kind of Kolya wannabe. It was weird. This guy seemed to think the more drugged and sleep-deprived I was, I'd do what he said."

"Well, that was dumb. Doesn't he know anything about you?"

"He should've." John shifted around to stare at the ceiling. "They had my picture, so they obviously knew about the gene."

"Sounds like trouble."

The colonel forged ahead. "The weapons outpost they brought me to buzzed in my head like a swarm of bees, like it was new, or something. My guess is the Replicators were there recently, with a fresh ZPM."

"No wonder it buzzed. All that new tech along with the old," Rodney wistfully stated. He hoped the noncommittal comments would merely spur John's recollection.

"On the fifth day, the commander – Lonen – broke my arm. Twice. They thought I couldn't tell night and day, but there was a crack in the ceiling of my cell."

"Because you're such a pleasant person when you don't know the time." Rodney heard his heart pounding in his own chest; he hoped John would overlook the sound.

"The head Genii scientist was a total ass-kisser. Yes, Commander this... Yes, Commander that. He was the first one I killed. The second one thought of new and interesting ways to cause pain. Three days after my arm was broken, this guy whacks me with a pipe or something, right across my face. But the third scientist thought if I rested and was fed, I'd be more useful."

"Lonen must've loved that."

"I almost felt sorry for him. The commander had him beaten," John said thickly, reaching for a glass of water. After several swallows, he pulled the blanket up under his chin. "But I had to get away, and he was an obstacle."

"Scientists."

"The outpost was so eager to operate; it was like a two-year-old with a new toy. We hatched a plan, then I took out the scientist and a guard. I told the outpost to arrange a distraction. It was so cold, and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Whatever drugs they gave me were wearing off, so everything hurt."

"What a surprise."

"When I passed the chair room, the outpost lit up every display. I got to the main hall without anyone seeing me."

"You're pretty stealthy when you want to be."

"I was so dizzy from everything, I ran straight into a pillar. Re-opened my head wound. All I could see was red. When I got to the entrance, I told the outpost to lockdown until I came back."

"And, of course, it obeyed."

John turned to meet Rodney's eyes in the darkness. "Don't be jealous, Rodney. I made it back to the 'gate by some miracle, trying to block out the hallucinations of my dead team."

"I was a zombie? Interesting."

"I'm not kidding. These were by far the worse ones I've ever experienced. Everything was hyper-real. Everything I touched was enhanced, all the pain I felt tripled. On instinct, I may have doubled back, or just wandered so aimlessly I lost them."

"It sounds like a horrible experience, John."

After a long pause, the colonel continued. "By the time I got to the DHD, I was so tired. But I remembered a space 'gate address, and dialed. Six Genii ran through the 'gate. Then I dialed a Wraith planet. Lonen and the rest went through."

"I bet he was surprised," Rodney said breathlessly. "You really are smarter than you look."

"Then I dialed M49-2471."

"Uninhabited. Good choice."

"I wanted to make sure I could get to the Alpha site. That 'gate platform had shifted; I fell a long way down." John's voice started to slur.

"And that's how you broke your left arm," Rodney surmised. As evidenced by his newly healed arm, Rodney knew this arm had a clean break and healed quicker.

"By the time I woke up, I was soaked. It was raining and very cold. Everything was so numb, it was the only way I could dial the Alpha site with two broken arms. Sergeant Meade almost shot me. He asked me a lot of questions, but I couldn't stay awake. After that, it gets hazy."

Turning on his side, Rodney conjured up the memory of that day. It came in Technicolor, with vivid detail. "The sergeant came with you through the 'gate. You were babbling on a stretcher. I think you were speaking a few different languages, Ancient included. But it was difficult to understand you. Meade told us how they found you; even when you're out of your mind, you're still stubborn. The other guy holding the stretcher – um, Crystal, Cranston –"

"Creighton, I think."

"Anyway, Creighton said you refused assistance and walked to the med tent. He also said it took twice as long since you insisted on stumbling off the trail."

John frowned. "I'll add them to my growing list of apologies I have to make. All I remember is pain and cold."

"You were nearly hypothermic, in fact. They thought you were brain damaged, for God's sake!"

Taking several more sips of water, John cleared his throat. "Really? I admit things were scrambled, but I don't remember much after the Alpha site."

Rodney turned to lay on his back and sighed. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"That bad, huh?" John put his hand over his eyes. It was good to have a free hand! "Can it get any worse than slamming a door in Caldwell's face?"

"You what? You are in so much trouble!" Laughing, Rodney placed a hand behind his head, feeling the tension drain away. "If you want, I could set up a closed-circuit broadcast from a remote part of the city. Just announce your apologies, and escape the mob."

"Ya know, that's not a bad idea, Rodney." John yawned greatly, turning on his good side. "Tell me what happened."

"You had to see me, like, all the time. Jennifer finally just set up the next bed for me. While you wouldn't talk about what happened, your dreams seemed quite vivid. I dunno, Colonel. The things you dream about..." Pulling the blanket tighter, Rodney plowed on. "Every time you saw me, you asked the same questions. 'McKay? Why are you here? Why didn't you leave? Where's Teyla?' Honestly, it was a little unnerving."

John stilled for a moment, then shifted. "Sorry. But I was probably still hallucinating. While I was drugged up, all I saw was your bloody body. Worse, I saw you a few times in a dark corner like a ghost telling me to leave that place."

"Oh, now see? I thought you were gonna be sane for your escape."

"Deep down, I knew it wasn't you, but I was so out of it... There was whispering all around me, and I couldn't make heads or tails of anything." John shrugged helplessly. "You told me how to escape, in fact."

"Then you definitely went with crazy."

John felt a grin crease his face. "Do you know what happens to skittish Genii when you start speaking Kurdish and Berber? I only know a few words, but it was enough. That commander guy went all kinds of crazy. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore, but it was inevitable."

"Is that what happened to your right side?"

"Mmm. I don't think I've been kicked that much in my life." The colonel fell silent, wondering briefly if he should continue. Gathering the blankets in his sore hand, John glanced at Rodney. He couldn't tell what kind of expression his friend held, but Rodney deserved the whole story. "On the last day, the tenth day, I asked the outpost for layouts and schematics. I wasn't staying there another day. I used a few tricks I deem worthy of your approval, and went on a drug- and pain-fueled rampage. It was hard aiming those Genii peashooters with one eye, but I needed to get the hell out of there. The lab had a biohazard failsafe. I convinced it there was an emergency and vented the air. Pretty sure all the scientists died, maybe a guard or two. I was never quite sure how many Genii were actually in the outpost."

This time, Rodney fell silent. For nearly two weeks, Colonel John Sheppard had endured beatings and drugs and hallucinations. He still managed to escape, even though his team couldn't come back for him. And he survived. A little worse for wear, but survived nonetheless. "I don't know what to say."

"Holy crap! Stop the presses! Doctor Rodney McKay is speechless."

Rodney sat upright, twisting his body to face his friend. "I'm just saying that I can't believe you kept going."

Yawning again, John stretched a bit. "No choice. Besides, you and I came up with an excellent plan, and I escaped."

"Then you come back to Atlantis twelve sheets to the wind, communing with a city that I swear to everyone isn't sentient, and then you proceed to scare the hell out of my staff and everyone around you."

"Sorry, Rodney," John murmured. "I didn't mean to."

"Yes, yes, yes. So you say. I told you once to stop scaring the medical staff with your screwy genetics, and now I have to extend that command to my staff as well."

"What?" the colonel asked breathlessly.

"You locked my people out of vital systems and insisted on repairing problems. I can't even tell you how many times we found you sitting on the floor whispering to yourself like a crazy person."

John squirmed a bit. "For how long?"

"Three days. You are not only stubborn, but evil. You bypassed every sensor and scanner Jennifer conjured up. Once your bloodwork came back almost normal, she put you in a coma."

"Then you sent me away." As much as he wanted to be angry, John couldn't find it in him. "I don't blame you."

Rodney reached over to the lamp. "Close your eyes. I'm turning on the lamp." Turning to fully face the colonel, Rodney collected himself. "We really had no choice. When Sam came banging on my door in the middle of the night, I thought you'd finally given up."

"What?" John stopped blinking at the sudden light, and narrowed his gaze.

"Look," Rodney began, raising his hands to stop the protest. "When you got to the SGC, you were in bad shape. Your injuries weren't life-threatening, but according to Jennifer, you'd worn your body out. Like, down to nothing. You weren't getting better, and I really didn't know what to expect."

"I'd never give up, Rodney."

"I realize that now. By the way, I never want to see that look on Sam Carter's face ever again. I thought she was going to tell me my cat died." Sighing, Rodney scooted until his back was against the headboard. "When I got to the infirmary, you were sitting up and alert. Doctor Lam was smiling, so it seemed you were improving."

"And you say no one appreciates your presence."

Rodney snorted. "I was just glad you recognized me. No one knew if you were firing on all cylinders, especially since you wouldn't speak."

Clutching the covers, John shivered again. "I wanted to say a lot of things. Something. But everything was all jumbled up, like I forgot to stop pretending with the gibberish. My head hurt so bad, and I couldn't sort through it all. So I hid in Atlantis, I guess."

Rodney nodded thoughtfully, finally understanding. "Atlantis is just numbers and logic. And people think I'm crazy for engrossing myself in nothing but numbers." He reached over to turn off the light. "I'm glad you told me, John, but something tells me you better get all the sleep you can right now."

Yawning in agreement, John snuggled back under the covers. "Lam is going to kick my ass, isn't she?"

"The likes of which you have yet to see, Grasshopper."

oOoOoOoOo

Jeannie woke the next morning to prepare everything for Smoothie Day. She was up to her elbows in fruit when Rodney emerged from his room. This time he seemed more cognizant of his surroundings. Jeannie flicked on the coffee maker.

"Morning, sis."

Jeannie blinked at the greeting. "Uh, morning."

Rodney smiled as he snatched a mug out of the cabinet. He placed it under the coffee drip, getting the first cup. Opening his mouth to say something, Rodney was cut off by a knock at the door. "Punctual as always, Carolyn." Walking briskly across the living room, he opened the door, squinting against the bright morning sun.

"Doctor McKay. Nice to see you again." She stepped inside, waving a reluctant hand at Jeannie. "I hear my patient came back some time last night?"

"Yes. He did. I'd grill you about what happened, but he told me. He's asleep now; I think the ordeal along with the fever took a lot out of him."

Carolyn frowned. "I was afraid of that. Sometimes a low grade fever is a side effect of the healing device." She followed Rodney into the bright room. Digging in her small bag, she fished out a stethoscope and a leather bound journal. "Thank you for your detailed notes, Rodney. If I'm right, I won't need them anymore."

"You know what? I think you may be right."

The doctor gently examined John, making notations in her own journal. Rodney thought he'd be more concerned when the colonel barely flinched as she touched him. Instead he felt relieved. The only time John slept that deeply was when he felt safe.

"Well, Colonel. You're lucky I don't beam you back to the infirmary, and make you stay there for your last week on Earth."

"That would go over well, I think." Rodney sat on the edge of the bed. "Is he all right?"

Replacing her stethoscope in the bag, Carolyn smiled briefly. "Ask him yourself."

Glancing up at the man in question, Rodney saw a hint of green under dark lashes. "Well?"

"'M good. Just sleepy." Sitting upright, John ran a hand across his face and through his hair.

"Great." Rodney turned his attention to the doctor. "Anything else? Can I interest you in a fruit smoothie?"

"I'll take a raincheck," she said, placing her hand on Rodney's shoulder. "You could use some additional rest too, you know."

"Yeah, McKay. Go back to bed."

The doctor tapped her radio. "Colonel Caldwell? This is Doctor Lam. Yes, sir, I'm ready." Nodding at both men, Carolyn gave a reluctant smile. "Good luck, gentlemen." In a flash of light, she was gone.

After toeing off his slippers, Rodney climbed into bed. "How about you? It's smoothie day."

John's brow raised in askance. "Just today?"

"Well, every Sunday, actually. You were a little out of it last weekend."

Falling back to the pillows, John stretched a bit. "Don't tell Vala, but I never want to lay eyes on that device. Not ever."

"That bad, huh?"

"I'm completely worn out. The best thing? I'm not in as much pain." John wearily lifted his right arm, wiggling his fingers.

Yawning, Rodney turned over. "Just keep the delirium to a minimum."

"Do my best, buddy."

oOoOoOoOo

When John woke again, he was alone. Pulling on a thick pair of socks, he padded out of the room into chaos. The blender was going, Jeannie and Rodney were arguing, Kaleb tickling his daughter, reducing Maddie to giggles.

"Hi, Uncle John!"

"Hey, Maddie." John continued to the kitchen and slumped down in a chair. "Rodney? Did you sleep at all?"

Jeannie stepped forward, planting a kiss on John's forehead. "He woke up about ten minutes before you. How do you feel?"

"I'm good." The colonel ignored Rodney's steely gaze. "Got one cast off, and a haircut."

"I thought something was different. Now I want you both to sit down and have some food. Or would you like a smoothie?"

"Smoothie," both men chorused.

"Comin' up!" With a flourish, Jeannie went back to the blender. "Maddie? Yours is ready."

"Yay!" The little girl escaped her father's clutches and skipped into the kitchen. "Uncle John wants strawberry and banana."

John smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "How did you know that's what I want?"

Madison scrunched her face in thought. "Mommy says I'm a genius."

oOoOoOoOo

"Come on, let's go for a walk." Rodney nodded toward the front door. "I need some air."

Rising from his chair, John stretched his stiff body. "I could totally use a walk." The last time they took a walk, John was too tired and hurting. Now he felt he could go anywhere and do anything. He could walk to the park, maybe even the store six blocks away.

"No, we are not walking to the store."

"What? I wasn't–"

"Whatever. You just got that wistful look in your eye."

"I did not have a wistful look. Why would I?"

Snorting, Rodney shrugged into a light jacket. "You get the same look just before you escape the infirmary. And every time it's a clear day; you think about flying a 'jumper."

"I guess I'm getting a little predictable in my old age." John smiled as he stepped off the porch, breathing in the cool air. "The park then?"

"Fine. Fine."

When they reached the park, John made a beeline for the pond. Sitting down heavily on the bench, he watched ducks floating on the water. "Wish we had some bread or something."

"What? No!" Rodney squirmed on his side of the bench. "What is it with you and disease-ridden animals?"

John laughed, and they fell into a companionable silence.

"I guess I'm coherent enough to call my brother," John murmured, squinting up at the late afternoon sky.

"You know," Rodney began. "I really thought I lost you for good this time. I mean, you were there, but you weren't."

"Sorry, Rodney."

Waving a hand, Rodney leaned forward, elbows on knees. "Not your fault. Thing is, I'm not sure what Atlantis would do if you didn't come back."

John squinted a skeptical eye in his friend's direction. "Atlantis, huh?" Grinning, he gently punched Rodney's shoulder. "Yeah, Mer. I kinda like having you around too."

oOoOoOoOo

The End.

Whew.


End file.
